Zzzzzzzzzz Ping-Pong?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks the Autumn Internationals fizzled rather than sizzled. 

OK so there were a few good games.  Scotland vs Australia was a tense defensive affair, Ireland vs South Africa was pulsating game (even though I felt like I was watching "Gorillas in the Mist" at times with the fog at Croke Park), whilst the game between France and New Zealand was by far and away the best game of the lot.  This game proved that rugby doesn't have to sacrifice itself to constant route one ball if teams play with attacking flair and display a desire to play with the ball in their hands rather than have it flying off their feet. 

Still, despite the odd exception, on the whole this November's array of international rugby was really rather drab.

Wake me up when they start playing love

Yesterday the IRB decided not to change any laws to try and spice up the game before the Rugby World Cup in two years time.  I can understand this as it is a bit of a risk so late in the World Cup cycle, but by leaving the laws alone it does seems that the short term future for rugby is one of the following two options:

Option 1:
Players will become increasingly fearful of being turned over or penalised whilst running with the ball due to the current interpretation of the laws at the breakdown as they seem to favour the defending team.  This will transform rugby into a burly game of 15-a-side ping-pong, with players anxious to kick the ball away and hope their opposition messes up before they do, all with tedious results.

Option 2:
Players will think: Sod all this kicking malarkey.  I want to play rugby, not some game of glorified gorilla tennis.  This will result in players zipping round the pitch, offloading for fun and avoiding the big, lurching forwards who amble around the pitch attempting to snaffle the ball off them at the breakdown.

Is this the future?

I prey to the Gods of Rugby that all teams take heed of Australia and New Zealand's performances in their final games of the autumn series and run with the ball.  If you're not isolated and left to die in possession then the mysteries surrounding the breakdown are of little consequence.  This is because you'll be far too busy trotting under the posts to dab the ball down instead of rolling around on the floor with some fat bloke looming over you as he attempts to rip the ball out of your muddy little hands.

Are we in for plenty of snore-fest rugby ping-pong over the next two years?

I hope not.

The Perfect 10?

The Autumn Internationals are now but days away and I am very much looking forward a spot of test match rugby. New Zealand face Australia this Saturday to kick off the proceedings with the Bledisloe Cup before England get involved against the Wallabies a week later. Then I've only got a couple of weeks to wait before I head down to Twickenham with my Dad to marvel at Dan Carter - I mean, watch England take on the might of the All Blacks.

At the moment everyone is talking about the twenty or so injuries within the England squad and musing whether Johnno should go for fresh new meat in the scrum or if he should favour some seasoned old steak. Go for youth all the way Johnno and blood some youngsters before the Six Nations. There, with that topic covered off I'm going to turn my attention to a much more interesting discussion: Just who is the Perfect 10?

England start their autumn campaign against Australia before meeting Argentina and finally the All Blacks. All three games promise to be juicy encounters, and these four teams also happen to feature the best looking number tens in world rugby, namely:

Jonny Wilkinson, England

Dan Carter, New Zealand

Felipe Contepomi, Argentina

Berrick Barnes, Australia

It's a female rugby-lover's dream: scintillating rugby played by some rather aesthetically pleasing men.

And relax.

However, with only my rugby-stats hat on I thought I'd delve deeper into these four fly halves, check out their statistics and compare their performances to find out who is the best fly-half of them all.

Arguably the two best fly-halves in the world have both recently made successful comebacks from injury: Dan Carter from an Achilles injury and Jonny Wilkinson from, well - pick any injury you like. Jonny's probably had every possible ailment about five times over, but happily he's now rejuvenating his rugby career and enjoying life in Toulon, and (dare I whisper it) is staying injury free. Dan on the other hand is back playing for Canterbury in his native New Zealand and modelling for Jockey underwear, as you do.

So let's look at the bare statistics....

Jonny Wilkinson

5ft 10in

193lb

30 years old

England Test Match career:

70 games

6 tries

144 conversions

209 penalties

29 drop goals

1032 points (avg 14.75 per game)

Dan Carter

5ft 10in

203lb

27 years old

New Zealand Test Match career:

62 games
25 tries

161 conversions

158 penalties

2 drop goals

927 points (avg 15.0 points per game)

Felipe Contepomi
6ft 0in

202lb

32 years of age

Argentina Test Career:

65 games

11 tries

56 conversions

101 penalties

2 drop goals

476 points (avg 7.3 points per game)

Berrick Barnes

6ft 0in

194lb

23 years old

Australia Test career:

21 games

4 tries

1 conversion

0 penalties

5 drop goals

37 points (avg 1.75 points per game)

Of course, these statistics don't tell the full story. Contepomi and Barnes both switch between fly-half and inside centre which helps to explain why their average points per game are below the mighty boots of Carter and Wilkinson. In fact, it's unsure as to whether Contepomi will slip on the number ten shirt in this autumn's test matches at all, and whether fly-half Juan Martin Hernandez will be involved since his name wasn't included in the original Argentina squad.

Berrick Barnes has been named vice captain of Australia for the tour and it will be interesting to see how this chiseled beach blonde buck from Brisbane will fare against his opposite numbers in the competition. I have to admit that I don't know too much about him, but I will definitely be keeping my eye on him over the next month - for purely research purposes you understand.

That leaves Jonny Wilkinson and Dan Carter vying for pole position as the perfect number ten. So who will come out on top?

Wilkinson hasn't pulled on an England shirt since 8th March 2008 in the Six Nations game against Scotland, but his involvement in that game secured him the accolade of top international rugby union points scorer of all time (including his 67 points for the Lions) when he overtook Neil Jenkins. Despite not playing at international level for 18 months, Jonny seems to be enjoying his Gallic adventure as he is currently the top points scorer in the French Top 14 competition this season. So can he replicate this form for England? I certainly hope so. Not only is he racking up the points, Wilkinson is back to the big tackling, commanding role that he always seemed to assume so effortlessly for England. Let's hope his (injury free) renaissance can continue in an England shirt next month.

Dan Carter on the other hand is widely regarded as the best fly-half in the world due to his calm and tactical rugby brain, dangerous side step, rapid acceleration and expert kicking game. I cannot knock Dan Carter and for me he is the perfect number ten in world rugby at the moment.

I cannot wait to see Carter and Wilkinson face off at Twickenham on the 21st November to see how these two towering fly-halves of world rugby will match up against each other. Dan lies second on the all time All Blacks top points scorers list behind fellow number ten Andrew Mehrtons, and Dan's points tally includes 25 tries to Wilkinson's 6. Whilst both Wilkinson and Carter have the astute tactical kicking game nailed on, Carter seems to have the extra facet to his game and pace to break the line and steam over for try after try. Whilst I hope the Autumn Internationals result in England victories, my eyes will be firmly fixed on this rare opportunity to watch these two half back maestros in action.

As I say, I cannot wait!

Twickenham here I come!

Today was pretty crap until precisely 17:29.

To give you a gist of my mind numbing Thursday it basically involved me sitting at my desk staring blankly at my computer screen with zero inspiration for the problem I was trying to solve. After several failed attempts (and after slipping into my spurs and Stetson and writing possibly some of the worst programming code of my life) I conducted a swift DIY lobotomy on myself with a sharpened pencil and then hastily cancelled a hotel in Edinburgh and re-booked myself into an apartment in Manchester - which, as you will probably know, isn't exactly handy if you want to spend the weekend tossing cabers and laughing at drunken Scottish tramps.

Anyway, after getting into a right radge and causing my friend Nicola to have a small nervous breakdown (as she is accompanying me on my trip to Edinburgh), I received the best news I've had in a long time.

I was just about to shut down my crappy steam-driven computer and go home and sulk when an email irritatingly pinged into my inbox. I hate it when that happens. Nine times out of ten it turns out to be a pesky client with a super urgent ID.10T issue which I have to stay late and solve. But not tonight. Oh no. Tonight, my 17:29 email from was from a lovely chap called Mike Bidgood at the Leeds Carnegie ticket office, who was writing to kindly inform me that my name had been drawn in the ballot, and I am one of the chosen few who gets the opportunity to buy tickets for....

wait for it...

ENGLAND VS NEW ZEALAND AT TWICKENHAM!!!

Oh, and to make things even better, apparently I can buy tickets for the England vs Australia game too.

:-)

YESSSS!

This is brilliant for two reasons:

1. I have never been to Twickenham to watch an England international game before. I did go in 2005 to watch Leeds lift the Powergen Cup (remember that one Bath fans?) but other than that, securing tickets to watch England at the home of rugby has been about as easy as finding anyone who thinks X-Factor's John and Edward are talented. (Seriously? Who is voting for those high-haired jeb ends?)

2. If you even vaguely know me you will know that I have a massive interest* with New Zealand's fly half, the ever sexy and amazing Dan Carter.

(* I prefer to say interest and not 'obsession' as it stops me from sounding slightly stalky, and plus Dan doesn't have a restraining order out on me - that I know of).

I think this calls for a rather gratuitous pic of Dan Carter playing with a ball:

I am one very happy bunny at the moment, as is my Dad (who is coming with me) and my boyfriend (who isn't and will therefore get a weekend of peace and quiet.)

Oh, and to top it all off, after work I *accidentally* went into town and bought myself a new handbag. Well, there was 10% off so it would have been rude not to!

So there you go: after a totally wank start this was probably one of the better Thursdays I've ever had. Maybe I'll start looking forward to the 17:29 emails a bit more in future....