Showing posts with label Jonny Wilkinson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jonny Wilkinson. Show all posts

Saturday, 27 November 2010

DAN! DAN! DAN!

That's right, today is all about Dan Carter.

Carter lining up the kick which passed Mehrtens' record
Yeah, yeah, the blooming red rose of England is playing the wounded Springboks at Twickenham this afternoon, but let's be honest, today is all about one man.

Carter, New Zealand's first choice fly-half, only needs three more points to surpass Jonny Wilkinson's world record haul of 1178 in test match rugby.  Unless hell freezes over, it looks certain the 28-year-old All Blacks star will achieve this feat against Wales today.

Regular readers of my blog will know I have a mild obsession with Dan Carter so I had to mark the day he will undoubtedly break Wilkinson's long-standing record.

Last November, I watched Carter pass Andrew Mehrtens' total of 967 points to become New Zealand's all time highest points scorer from my lofty perch in Twickenham's west stand.  Today, I won't be at the Millennium Stadium to see him pull the strings and kick the points and probably guide New Zealand to yet another win.  However, I will be recording the match so I can watch him work his irrepressible magic and cruise past another landmark.

Good luck Dan.  You're an absolutely brilliant, world class player and you deserve all the plaudits you get.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Heineken Cup Round 1: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly...

The Heineken Cup didn't fail to deliver in the opening round.  So much top quality rugby on display and I've had a brilliant weekend watching it.

But who shone amidst the cream of Europe, and who tried their best to secure their place on the "Brock James Heineken Cup Wall of Shame"?

Wonder no more...

The Good

The try of the weekend came courtesy of some unbelievable skill by Regan King.  Awesome.



Jonny Wilkinson and Paul Sackey linking up to seal a late win for Toulon with this:


Dimitri Yachvili, who kicked four second-half penalties to break Bath's hearts at the Rec.

Dave Walder.  Where would Wasps be this season without their underrated fly-half?  He almost single-handedly won them the game away at Toulouse.  OK, I'm going to overlook his last minute penalty miss as the rest of his game management was that good.

Topsy Ojo.  The London Irish wing is back to full fitness and is on fire, scoring a great interception try in the win over Munster.


The Bad

Goalkicking success (or the lack thereof) at Franklins Gardens.  Bruce Reihana and Shane Geraghty seem to be passing the "let's be inconsistently shit" baton between themselves at the moment.  Come on boys, no-one wants to be called the new Brock James, so pull yourselves together, please.  There are big problems in the goalkicking department for Northampton Saints, but this only falls into the Bad category as they did beat Castres.

Not quite what happened on Friday...
Erik Lund in Biarritz colours.  Not nice to see as a Leeds fan.  As for Iain Balshaw?  Couldn't care less.

London Irish drifting off.  A great win against European rugby supremos Munster, but the Exiles failed to close out the game and let the men from Limerick steal a last-gasp try to seal a losing bonus point.  What do bonus points make?  All the difference, that's what.  Toby Booth's men have made progression from arguably the toughest pool all the more difficult by not slamming the door in Munster's face.


The Ugly

Bath's failure to take a late drop-goal, bang in front of the posts, to regain the lead from Biarritz and win the game.  As it was, Olly Barkley didn't shout loud enough and Michael Claassens ignored him.  A Biarritz win, a home defeat for Bath and progression from the pool looking very tricky for Steve Meehan's men.

Stuart Barnes' nauseating man love for Biarritz number eight, Imanol Harinordoquy.  Listening to Barnes bleat on about his "amazing hands" made me sick in my mouth.  Twice.

Any more to add?

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Pass the Smelling Salts

France v England, Six Nations, Saturday 20 March.

I think I'm hallucinating.

England coach Martin Johnson has just named his team to face France in this weekend's Six Nations' finale.

The unbelieveable highlights are:

Ben Foden is named at fullback.

Chris Ashton replaces Ugo "I can only run in a straight line" Monye on the left wing.

Super Jonny Wilkinson has been dropped and is replaced by Toby Flood.

Jimmy Haskell, aka Mr Invisible, has been relegated to the bench.

The changes might be too little, too late in the tournament, but at least Johnson is FINALLY opening his eyes and picking the players who are actually performing.

Is this a step towards a more dynamic England team?

Maybe.  A big disappointment is that Courtney Lawes has been sent back to Northampton.  58-year old Simon Shaw starts at lock and the ever dynamic dull Louis Deacon is on the bench.

I suppose Johnson has to dig his stubborn little heels in somewhere...

Still, I'm off for a little lie down to recover from this shocking news.


England Team

15 Ben Foden (Northampton Saints)
14 Mark Cueto (Sale Sharks)
13 Mike Tindall (Gloucester Rugby)
12 Riki Flutey (CA Brive)
11 Chris Ashton (Northampton Saints)
10 Toby Flood (Leicester Tigers)
9 Danny Care (Harlequins)
1 Tim Payne (London Wasps)
2 Dylan Hartley (Northampton Saints)
3 Dan Cole (Leicester Tigers)
4 Simon Shaw (London Wasps)
5 Steve Borthwick (Saracens, captain)
6 Joe Worsley (London Wasps)
7 Lewis Moody (Leicester Tigers)
8 Nick Easter (Harlequins)

REPLACEMENTS

16 Steve Thompson (CA Brive)
17 David Wilson (Bath Rugby)
18 Louis Deacon (Leicester Tigers)
19 James Haskell (Stade Francais)
20 Ben Youngs (Leicester Tigers)
21 Jonny Wilkinson (RC Toulon)
22 Mathew Tait (Sale Sharks)

Sunday, 28 February 2010

Six Nations Week 3: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good

Three from three for France and the Grand Slam is still on for les Bleus.

The French scrum: the best in Europe, no doubt.

Shane Williams' sizzling late try to set up another tantalising finish.  Sadly for Wales, Freddie Michelak kicked the ball into touch at the final restart to deny another buttock clenching finale at the Millennium Stadium.

Another mention for Shane Williams, who passed Gareth Edwards' record of 18 Championship tries for Wales.  And on his 33rd birthday too.  Aw.

Italy's last gasp win over Scotland.  A brilliant try by Pablo Canavosio helped the Azzurri to their 7th win in ten years of the Six Nations.  Something for coach Nick Mallet to write on his calendar then.

Centurion: John Hayes

John Hayes winning his 100th cap for Ireland.  An excellent achievement for any player, but especially so for a front row forward.

Ben Foden, who finally pulled off his tracksuit to replace the injured Delon Armitage.  Foden was a shining star for England with a desire to run the ball forward instead of hoof it aimlessly.

England not kicking the ball away every five seconds.  OK so England didn't win, but they looked pretty evenly matched against Ireland.  Martin Johnson did comment after the match that he thought his team suffered as they tried to run the ball too much.  Oh God, I hope this doesn't mean we can look forward to a return to kicking 101 against Scotland.

The Bad

Wales' string of errors.  Two interception tries?  Check.  Plenty of passes to no-where?  Check.  Failing to see the men in support and not passing the ball for a certain try, Jamie Roberts?  Check.

Yeah I know Shane.  It was really frustrating.

Not so much bad, more not quite there.  Morgan Parra and François Trinh-Duc's partnership at half back is a weak link in the French team.  Parra is a bit selfish and Trinh-Duc retreats into the pocket when put under pressure.

Scotland's failure to score a try against Italy.  And they lost.  Again.  Wooden spoon, Andy Robinson?

Danny Care's sloooooooooow service to Super Jonny and chums. This limited Wilkinson's options and left England's backline looking static.

The atmosphere in Twickenham.  Oh sorry, there wasn't one.

(Not so) Super Jonny's kicking stats.  Only 3/6 for the usually robotic place kicking Wilkinson.  Poor.

The Ugly

Brian O'Driscoll being stretchered off the field.  I hope he'll be fit to pick up his 100th cap in a couple of weeks.

The ridiculous handbags between England and Ireland.  Not really ugly but come on ladies, sort it out.  Still, Danny Care's missus is probably a very satisfied lady looking at Care's excellent throw down skills (as demonstrated on Tomas O'Leary).

Thursday, 25 February 2010

Six Nations Previews and Predictions: Week 3

Wales v France

Friday night’s game is a tantalising battle between Grand Slam hopefuls France and comeback Kings Wales.

Who can forget the men in red’s pulsating victory over Scotland in Cardiff in week two?

Confidence will be high in the Wales camp, but the task facing Gatland’s men this weekend is a formidable one.

The Wales coach has focussed his criticism on his back row after the last gasp win over Andy Robinson’s Scotland. With Andy Powell dropped in the wake of Golf Buggy-gate and Martyn Williams and captain Ryan Jones unusually below par, Wales’ forwards need to up their game.


Will Williams (l) and Ryan Jones (r) provide good service to Stephen Jones (c)?

Alun Wyn Jones is out after undergoing surgery on his elbow and Deiniol Jones and Bradley Williams get a chance to impress in the second row. Scrum-half Mike Phillips returns to the bench despite only playing 40 minutes of rugby in the past four months. Dwayne Peel must be left wondering if his move to Sale has scuppered his international career.

France coach Marc Lievremont will be forced to juggle his team again after injuries to Benjamin Fall, Pascal Pape and Fulgence Ouedraogo.

Both winger Fall and lock Pape suffered ankle injuries and will be replaced by Julien Malzieu and Julien Pierre respectively. Pape’s absence means Sebastien “The Caveman” Chabal comes onto the bench and Julien Bonnaire replaces Ouedraogo.

Alexis Palisson has recovered from Jerry Flannery’s can-can kick and starts on the wing.

As for the game, I think the clash between centres Mathieu Bastereaud and James Hook will be a fascinating one to watch.

The forward battle will be the key area though, and France’s powerful scrum will be a stern test for the Wales pack. Gethin Jenkins came off the bench against Scotland but doesn’t feature in the 22 to face France.

If Wales get good service from the pack they will give the flair-packed France a run for their money. However, I can’t see France slipping up at the Millennium Stadium.

My prediction: France to win by 8.


England v Ireland

It’s make or break time for England. After two lacklustre games for the men in white, Ireland will be a much sterner test.

A stuttering performance against Wales and an unimpressive win over Italy mean Martin Johnson’s team is still on for the Grand Slam. However write off Ireland at your peril. Declan Kidney’s men were taught a rugby lesson in France a fortnight ago and only a win against England will keep their championship dreams alive.

Johnson has only tinkered with his match day 22 after criticism over the team’s performance in Rome. He has stuck with (maybe not so) Super Jonny at fly-half and Ben Foden and Joe Worsley both start on the bench.

As for Ireland...  OK so a back to back Grand Slam is no longer possible for Brian O’Driscoll and chums but the Triple Crown is definitely in their sights.


Rory Best will start at hooker for Ireland after Jerry Flannery was banned after his not exactly subtle kick on Alexis Palisson.


Ireland's first choice fly half: Jonny Sexton

Wunderkind Jonny Sexton snatches the number 10 jersey from Ronan O’Gara with the Munster man relegated to the bench. Rob Kearney is out with injury and he is replaced by Leicester’s Geordan Murphy. A fit again Donnacha O’Callaghan pushes Leo Cullen to the bench.

England is hardly a dynamic force in the world of rugby at the moment, and Ireland will have been busy licking their wounds after the 33-10 hammering in France. Unless Martin Johnson and co’s strategy has undergone a total revamp in the last couple of weeks, then I expect England to kick the ball away ad infinitum which will give Ireland ample opportunity to run it back at them. And past them. And over the line.

The key battle I’ll be watching is Jonny v Jonny. Fly-half of the recent past v fly-half of the future. I wonder who will take control and pull the strings to orchestrate a win? I think it will be Jonny Jnr.

My prediction: Ireland to win by 12.


Italy v Scotland

Andy Robinson’s Scotland committed what can only be called rugby hari kari against Wales two weeks ago. Quite why Mike Blair chose to run the ball rather than boot it into touch when the clock went red only he will know. Add to that the two late sin binnings and 13-man Scotland could only watch as impish Shane Williams skipped over the line to snatch a last gasp win.

Gutting.

So what next? Well, all is not lost as this weekend they face serial wooden spoon winners Italy.

England made tough work of overcoming the Azzurri but Italy looked much more convincing than they did against Ireland. Surely Scotland have enough flair to overcome the tournament whipping boys though?

In a word: yes.

Max Evans returns for the Scots after scoring a try after coming off the bench against Wales. Hugo Southwell and Simon Danielli replace Chris Paterson and Rory Lamont and Allan Jacobsen is in for Alistair Dickinson in the front row. The Scots are looking to turn their fortunes around and end a two-game losing streak in the tournament.

Evans will hopefully take it to the Max.

Italy coach Nick Mallet has named only one change for Italy as Carlo Antonio Del Fava starts in the second row after a remarkable recovery from knee surgery.

Italy will be targeting the game against Scotland as their most realistic chance to notch up a win as Scotland are the only team they have beaten in the Six Nations.

However the Scots will be looking to turn their 70 minute performance against Wales into a full 80 minute win against Italy. If they don’t, the wooden spoon awaits…

My prediction: Scotland to win by 13.

So what do you think?  Will France march on towards a Grand Slam?

Saturday, 20 February 2010

A Tale of Two Fly Halves

Danny Cipriani has confirmed that he is venturing down under and joining the newly formed Melbourne Rebels next season.

Shock horror.

Well there goes his England career.  Or does it?

"I'm ignoring you."
"No I'm ignoring YOU!"

Cipriani's move means he will not feature in next year's World Cup.  That is a given.  England manager Martin Johnson said he wouldn't select the fly-half if he relocated to the Southern Hemisphere.  For one thing the scouting missions would be total pain as Johnno really struggles for leg room on long haul flights.

Then again, Cipriani doesn't really have an England career at the moment, does he?

Johnson hasn't picked Cipriani since November 2008.  So what's all the fuss?  The fuss is because Danny Cipriani rapidly became the poster boy for English rugby and was branded "rugby's answer to David Beckham".  And rather hastily too I might add.

The Wasps number 10 burst onto the international scene in 2008's Six Nations but caused just as many waves off the pitch.  When it came to his rugby, Danny only really had one great game for England (against Ireland in the Six Nations of the same year) and a couple of great performances in the Heineken Cup. If there was ever a player to be over hyped, then Cipriani was that man.

Controversially, the fly-half was dropped for "inappropriate behaviour" when he stumbled out of a night club at midnight a few days before the Scotland game in the 2008 Six Nations.  A horrific ankle injury in May 2008 then put Cipriani's international ambitions on hold.  Since then he's been in and out of the England squad, demoted to the Saxons and been woefully inconsistent for Wasps.

And then came the celebrity girlfriend, the ample Kelly Brook. Soon enough, Danny was making headlines for all the wrong reasons.  Do you think Martin Johnson was impressed to see his recovering fly-half wining and dining his new love interest in all the tabloids?  Nah, me neither.


Expect to see plenty more of this when Cipriani moves to Melbourne

Will Carling revealed on his Rucku.com blog last week that he turned down the offer of managing Cipriani with a view to getting him back into the England squad.  Why? 

Carling said: "The main reason I decided not to go ahead is that I do not believe that Danny's focus is on playing for England."

So what is Danny focussed on?  Topping up his tan in Oz and hitting the town with his model girlfriend?

Is it any wonder that Martin Johnson has left Cipriani out in the cold?

England manager Johnson has been heavily criticised for his selection decisions, and now the finger of frustration is being pointed firmly at his first choice fly-half, Jonny Wilkinson, after a couple of sub-par displays in this year's Six Nations.

So what has Wilkinson got that Cipriani hasn't?  Why is Jonny still in favour? 

Unlike an on form Cipriani, Jonny certainly isn't the most inventive number 10.  It's not often that the Toulon fly-half dazzles us with his running and opens up the England backline. 

The answer is their attitudes.  Wilkinson and Cipriani couldn't be more different if they tried.  Rewind a couple of years and Danny was either splashed across the tabloids or accidentally blurting out the F-word on a live broadcast. Wilkinson was living the life of a rugby hermit in Northumberland and robotically practising his place kicks for 23:59 hours per day.  When he wasn't injured, of course.

The pair do have some things in common though.  Wilkinson has suffered so much damage since the 2003 World Cup final that he singlehandedly kept all the BUPA hospitals in Newcastle open before he left for Toulon.  Cipriani's ankle injury was so bad it needed pinning in several places.  The contrast comes in what the pair did during their recuperation:  Wilkinson learnt to speak French (forward planning perhaps?) and got to grips with the acoustic guitar.  Cipriani jetted off to the Caribbean with Kelly Brook and was papped "frolicking" in the sea. 

But Cipriani's move to Australia got me thinking.  Wilkinson's career was going nowhere fast at Newcastle as he kept picking up injury after injury.  After 12 years at the club, the fly-half took the decision to jump across the channel and pull on the Toulon shirt.  Of course, the €700,000 a year salary didn't hurt. 

Yet more points for the kicking machine

At the time of his move, Wilkinson said:
"I hope it will give me the games to rebuild an international career.  I haven't played and so I haven't figured for England and I want that to change."

And change it did.  Jonny soon became the leading points scorer in the Top 14 and reclaimed his England shirt.

So what of Cipriani?  Speaking of his switch to Melbourne, he said:
"In the short term, it might not be the best thing for my England career.  My main reason was to develop myself as a player and come back and play at 10 for England."

Hmm, that sounds rather familiar.

With the English media off his back and a chance to rebuild his confidence and improve his game at a new club, I think Cipriani will prosper in Melbourne just as Jonny has in Toulon.  Under the guidance of Melbourne head coach, former Australia boss Rod Maqueen, I think Cipriani will return a stronger and more settled fly-half. 

You never know, he might even come back playing like Matt Giteau.  (Here's hoping anyway).

Let's just hope that Will Carling's assessment of the fallen poster boy of England rugby wasn't right after all.

Good luck in Melbourne Danny.  Just don't forget you have the potential to be a star.
And when I say that, I mean on the rugby pitch.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Six Nations Week 2: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good:

The Wales v Scotland game.  An incredible last five minutes in a match with more twists than one of Adam Jones' bouncing ringlets.

Adam Jones: curly wurly

Dan Parks: back from the wilderness (or Glasgow in his case).

Shane Williams.  The man who turned the match for Wales.  He showed great skill to put Lee Byrne in for a try, calmly caught a tricky high ball under pressure when Scotland were dominating, and he bagged the winning score to boot.

An excellent all round game for France.  Well, with the exception of their line-out.  A great game for France's Mathieu Bastereuad, Yannick Jauzion and Morgan Parra to name but three.

Italy, who matched England and made a real game of it.  Six Nations whipping boys they are not.  A special mention to Italy number eight and man of the match Alessandro Mani.  Who needs Sergio Parisse?  Luke McClean also had a good game at full-back for the Azzurri.

Jonny Wilkinson, who passed the 500 point mark in the Six Nations competition, and used his experience to stretch England's lead near to the death.

The Bad:

Scotland commiting rugby hari kari against Wales in the last 10 minutes.  Two sin binnings for the Scots and 17 points to Wales.  Does that remind you of anyone, Alun Wyn Jones?  Then again, Scotland's loss was due in great part to...

Referee George Clancy, who allowed an extra passage of play in the Wales v Scotland game even though the clock had already reached 80 minutes.  With the teams tied on 24-24, Shane Williams scorched over the try line for Wales.  If it were a game of football, Wales would be Manchester United.  Scotland coach Andy Robinson:  mildly irritated.

Ireland's performance against France - or lack of it.  Last week Ireland captain Brian O'Driscoll described his team as "mediocre" in their 29-11 win over Italy.  This weekend in defeat, he downgraded that to "poor".  Personally, I'd have gone for "abysmal".

Yannick Jauzion crosses the line for France

France's faultering lineout.  The only negative in their 33-10 victory over Ireland.

England kicking the ball away aimlessly at almost every opportunity.  Martin Johnson's men looked about as threatening as a bunch of bumbling marshmallows during large parts of the game against Italy.  Oh and how England totally failed to ram home their advantage when Castro was in the bin completely mystified me.  Another very disappointing England performance.  There's plenty for them to work on.  Again.

Dylan Hartley's line-out throwing.  Very poor.  I found myself being thankful when Steve Thompson stomped onto the pitch.  Yes, it was that bad.

The Ugly:

Scotland's Thom Evans being stretchered off the pitch and subsequently undergoing neck surgery.  Get well soon Thom.

Jerry Flannery's impromptu 'can-can' kick on Alexis Pallison. France scrum-half Morgan Parra is no doubt thrilled that Flannery backed him up after Parra claimed Ireland "cheat every weekend".

Monday, 8 February 2010

Six Nations Week 1: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good...

A 30-17 win for England, despite a strong comeback from Wales in the second half.
England's line out.  Excellent work again from messrs Borthwick and Shaw.
Jonny Wilkinson.  Another 15 points in the bag.  Easy.
James Hook's solo try.  Is he Barry John in disguise?
France's Mathieu Bastareaud, an 18 stone double try-scoring powerhouse.  Ireland beware in Paris next week.
The French front five.  Dominated scrum time, solid in the line out and great in the loose.

The Bad...

Scotland's scrum which looked totally feeble.  Please hurry back Euan Murray.
Wales' goal kicking.  A couple of misses for James Hook which let England off the hook early on.
Ireland's second half performance.  Brian O'Driscoll said it was "mediocre" and "frustrating".  I nearly drifted off to sleep.  Ireland have got to step it up before their trip to Paris next weekend.
Rob Kearney's sloppy clearance, straight into the arms of Kane Robertson, who skipped over the line for an easy try.

The Ugly...

Italy's tediously slow work at the breakdown.  The BBC commentator said Italy's backs could make a cappuccino in the time it took their scrum-half Tebaldi to dig the ball out.  I think it would have been quicker if I had swum across the Irish sea to Croke Park and got the ball for him.  Zzzzzz.
Gonzalo Garcia's attempted spear tackle on Brian O'Driscoll.  Tut, tut.  A well deserved yellow card for that one.
Alun Wyn Jones' stupid trip.  Cue a ten minute sin-binning and England scoring two tries against 14 man Wales.  D'oh.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

My Trip to Twickenham: A Day in Pictures

What did I hope to get out of my trip to Twickenham to see England take on the All Blacks?

Well, an England win of course, a few scintillating tries and an unlikely meeting with New Zealand's delicious Dan Carter. 

Sadly I came away from south-west London disappointed on all three fronts, although I did have a brilliant day and it was a fantastic occasion.  Oh, and the fact that England didn't get rogered by 30 points as I predicted also helped.

Here is my day in pictures...

After hitting the M1 at 8am as planned, the irritating roadworks around Nottingham took their toll which necessitated a slightly earlier pit stop.  After parking up at Oxford services, my Dad noticed the registration plate of the car in front of us:


Was this an omen for England?  Why try (when you know you're going to get your arses kicked?)


Putting aside that unsavoury thought, we battled through the traffic and arrived at Twickenham stadium for 12:30pm.


Oh look, it's the player's entrance.  How handy.


After speaking with a friendly steward with dodgy peroxide blonde hair, I ascertained that the arrival of the teams was imminent.  Excellent.  Time to sharpen those elbows...

Team England rocked up first, and despite my best efforts I was pretty rubbish at getting any good photos.  Still, here are the best ones:



Jonny!



Danny Care, Simon Shaw and Ugo Monye

I decided that a better viewpoint was required for the arrival of the All Blacks, so Dad and I climbed the west stand stairs and waited for the NZ team bus and the moment I'd been longing for...



DAN!  DAN!  DAN!

Don't worry, I didn't shout or make a tit of myself.  I just took this photo of him walking along with his head down.  Grr.

With the players safely arrived, Dad and I decided to refresh ourselves with a luke warm beer.  As my Dad is a smoker we drank them outside the west stand in a delightful location next to some bins whilst he puffed on his pipe.  It is here where I noticed something rather amusing, given the current questions surrounding the England set up:



Yes that's right - Rob Andrew is poised to fall into a bin.  Irony or prophesy?



With my Dad finished sending smoke signals we decided to have a nosy around the stadium and see what was happening on the pitch.



Lo and behold, it's Jonny Wilkinson practising his kicks/curling out a poo.


We watched England and New Zealand warming up for a while at their respective ends of the pitch and soon enough it was time to take our seats for the game.  A giant cross of St. George was draped across the pitch by some lovely army lads, and then the England team ran out to blasts of fire:



Top of my Christmas wish list: a flame throwing camera.

The teams lined up for the anthems...




...and then you can read my review to find out the rest.


It was a great day even though I sadly didn't fulfil my Quest to Meet Dan Carter, my Dad and I both really enjoyed ourselves. 

It's just a shame that it is such a long drive to get there...

Hopefully when I venture down to Twickenham again the result will be slightly more favourable.

Off-Colour All Blacks Beat Unbalanced England

England 6 - 19 New Zealand

Perched high up from my seat in Twickenham's west stand I watched a slightly off-colour All Blacks do enough to beat a rather unbalanced England on a drizzly afternoon at the home of rugby yesterday afternoon.

It was my first trip to Twickenham to watch an England test match, and whilst it might not have been the most exhilarating, free-flowing game in the world it was a brilliant occasion with a atmosphere to match.  England supporters haven't had much to cheer about in recent weeks, so with me fully expecting England to be dished out a rather unappetizing rugby lesson from Ritchie McCaw and pals, all I really hoped for was that England came out to play some rugby and didn't just capitulate at the hands of the currently top ranked team in the world.



"Right boys.  They've laid out the red carpet for us.  Let's give them a pasting."

Going in to this game there were plenty of subplots:
Dan Carter needed only two more points to overtake Andrew Mehrtons and become New Zealand's highest point scorer of all time.  There was also Carter's much hyped face off with Jonny Wilkinson to consider, heralded as a clash between the best fly-half in the world and his injury ravaged predecessor.  Oh, and then there was also the small matter of the microscope that had been firmly placed over Martin Johnson, his coaching squad and their team selection.  Surely a bad performance against New Zealand would result in a few casualties in this department, wouldn't it?

The game began and it was England who looked the steadier team and more physical and committed.  Matt Banahan looked like he'd caught a bought of rabies from 'Mad Dog' Lewis Moody, as from the kick off he sprinted and harried and gave Moody the opportunity to put pressure on the clearance kick from Dan Carter.  In fact, I don't know if Mehrton's record was playing on Carter's mind but he had a rather shaky start which developed into one of the worst performances I've seen him play.  With an astonishing record of slotting 31 out of his last 32 attempts on goal, the Twickenham crowd fully expected Carter to pass Mehrton's record within the first few minutes when New Zealand won a penalty.

The crowd held its breath and no doubt the commentators on Sky waxed lyrical about Carter's accuracy and his amazing conversion rate - just as Carter proceeded to push the ball wide.  WHAT?  A let off for England.

Rain started to fall and the game inevitably got a bit scrappy.  To their credit, both teams still tried to run with the ball and it didn't disintegrate into a tedious kick-fest.  A slippy ball and surface almost provided Ugo Monye with the opening try when he tackled Zak Guildford who was running the ball out of the New Zealand twenty-two, causing it to pop up and land in Monye's hands.  Monye sprinted over the line but the try was ruled out by referee Jonathan Kaplan.  I had a great view of Monye's effort and I thought it looked fine, but having seen the replay this morning, as much as it pains me to say it, Kaplan was right.

Despite their efforts to run the ball England's back line still played too deep and never really threatened the advantage line.  Jonny Wilkinson needs to stand flatter like he does at Toulon and drag the backs up with him.  With all the excitement of an 'almost try' for England, Wilkinson settled Twickenham's nerves by coolly kicking England's first scoring opportunity when New Zealand infringed at the breakdown.  3-0 to England after 15 minutes.



Jonny opens the scoring

What then followed was a litany of mistakes from the usually faultless Carter.  A missed kick into touch; a spill of the ball in the tackle; kicks up field that lacked their usual epic length.  Why Carter didn't try and put pressure on butterfingers Banahan and Monye with the high ball I don't know.  Instead he was happy to kick the ball up field where the much more composed Cueto was waiting, and despite not having played at full back for Sale this season he looked calm under the high ball.  Even though Carter's kicking boots weren't weaving their usual magic, the line-out that resulted from one of his successful kicks into touch almost saw New Zealand cross the line for the first time.  The ball was fed out from the line-out to Carter who was standing flat.  He passed the ball to Conrad Smith who made a break and linked up with full back Mils Mulianina who would have scored in the corner had it not been for Monye's rapid scramble defence.  A lesson for England:  New Zealand were playing flat, quickly crossed the advantage line and almost scored.  A worrying threat from the All Blacks at the end of the first quarter.

Finally, New Zealand fans got to see what they had been waiting for when Tim Payne was penalised for a couple of punches that he casually threw in at the breakdown.  I've no idea why this didn't earn him a yellow card so England were lucky in this respect, but not where Carter was concerned as he finally found his kicking boots and easily scored his first points of the game with a brilliant kick in the tricky conditions.  Congratulations on passing Mehrton's record Dan.



Carter lining up to pass Mehrton's record

Wilkinson and Carter exchanged another penalty each before half time (along with yet another uncharacteristic miss from Carter), and then the England belief and defence saw them shut down the New Zealand threat in the last five minutes of the half when they threatened the England line.  This was a definite step up from England's performance against Argentina.

The second half started in much the same way as the first, with both teams trying to play expansive rugby and both teams failing as the ball went to ground.  The first echoes of 'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" reverberated from the stands but it couldn't prevent New Zealand scoring what turned out to be the only try of the game when scrum-half Jimmy Cowan crossed after excellent link up play between Sitiveni Sivivatu and Richie McCaw.  Now with his eyes firmly on the prize, Carter successfully kicked a difficult conversion from the touchline to take his tally to four kicks from six.  6-16 to the All Blacks after 59 minutes.

As the rain started to fall harder, England started to try and force the game.  Despite having a penalty in the bag, Jonny Wilkinson tried for a drop goal and failed.  Why didn't you push for the try Jonny or at least go back for the place-kicked penalty?  With England pushing the game New Zealand capitalized again due to their ability to quickly get over the gainline.  Replacement hooker Steve Thompson got pinged by referee Kaplan for diving in at the breakdown, gifting the rather off-colour Carter an easy penalty under the posts to take the score to 6-19 with just over ten minutes remaining.

Maybe the fact that England had made 112 tackles to New Zealand's 60 meant that they were tiring, so even with Geraghty and Tait on the field the last ditch attempts to pressurize the All Blacks line failed.

The game ended with a rather scrappy New Zealand beating England by 6-19. 

Before the game I said I wanted to see England play and they definitely did that to a higher standard than they showed against Australia and Argentina.  Industry, passion and commitment were all in evidence but accuracy and incision were sadly missing.  With the selections of Erinle and Hipkiss in the centre, Shaw in the second row and Banahan on the wing it was clear that Martin Johnson had assembled a team that could physically front up to the All Blacks.  That's fine, but in doing this there was no room for the finishers which left a rather unbalanced side.  There's a lot of work needed before the Six Nations, but hopefully with players like Toby Flood coming back from injury it might help sort out England's midfield woes.

New Zealand on the other hand, put in a generally good all round performance but with no real standout players.  I was really happy to watch them in my first ever live international game but they are still very much a work in progress and yesterday they weren't the prolific New Zealand side that I have come to expect.  Still, it's their third game on the bounce where they haven't conceded a try, although they've got plenty to work on before they face their big test of their autumn tour when they take on France in Marseille next weekend.

Monday, 9 November 2009

Shortest Shorts: Offender # 3 (International Special)

In a veritable feast of rugby this weekend there were plenty of contenders and offenders for my (non-)prestigious Shortest Shorts award. 

However, one player's shorts were head and shoulders above the rest - and when I say that I mean it almost literally.  Whilst Dan Hipkiss barely got the ball on Saturday he did almost blind me with his ridiculously crotch-skimming attire.

Seriously Dan: please pass on the extra-small shorts next weekend and pick out a medium pair at least - for all our sakes.

Whilst I couldn't find any snaps of Dan from Saturday's England game (probably because he only touched the ball twice) here are a couple of photos I found of him unsubtly covering his man gems:



OK, pretty short but I can cope...



AGH!  I take it all back.  I've just gone blind. 
(Also, check out Wilko's incredulous look.  He's so upset he's keeled over in state of shock.)


I now cannot shake this unsettling mental image and I am off to go and poke out my mind's eye with a biro.

8.5 out for ten for this scantily-clad effort.  Please wear correctly fitting shorts in future.  I like to be able to concentrate on the game I'm watching...

Saturday, 7 November 2009

What is the Point of Andy Goode?

Andy Goode.  He of the long flowing Timotei locks despite his ridiculously receding hairline.  Why oh why oh why is he in the England squad?

Be honest, do you think for a second that Mr Goode is going to displace prodigal son Wilkinson or the investment in youth that is Shane Geraghty?  No, and the reason for this is because Andy Goode is rubbish.



Not so Goode

OK, so he can kick goals.  Well done, but as an international number ten you need more than that.  What about tactical kicking?  Are you any good at that Andy?  Er, no.  Alright then, what about adding a dynamic element to the midfield?  Maybe not.  Fine, so I guess you must be in the mould of Dan Carter and score a hatful of tries?  Still a no?

Right then, so other than your minging blonde locks, what do you have to offer to a new look England, because I can't think of anything?

Oh yeah, that's right:  you're really good at keeping the bench warm.

I think it's time for you to budge up and let Ben Foden take a seat, so toddle off and go and wash your lovely hair.

The Wilko Show?

England 9 - 18 Australia

Jonny Wilkinson's return to fitness and the England squad seems somewhat ironic at a time when his England team mates are keeping the physios and surgeons very busy.  His first game for England in eighteen months was supposed to herald a new start for Martin Johnson's England, and a chance for the returning World Cup winning hero of 2003 to help usher the patched together and youthful looking England team to a winning start in this year's Autumn Internationals.



The lesser spotted injury free Wilkinson

Sadly, this didn't happen.

On a personal level, Wilkinson had a pretty good game.  He settled the nerves of an expectant Twickenham by slotting an opening drop goal and coolly adding three points with a calmly taken penalty that flew through the centre of the posts, all in the first ten minutes.  6-0 to England.

In fact it was a good start for England.  Steve "Hey You Guys" Thompson looks to have worked on his line out throwing which was always an Achilles heel for the hooker, and Deacon, Borthwick and Croft were quick to snaffle all the line out ball.

As the game started to settle down, number eight Jordan Crane seemed to be everywhere in the first quarter, although Ugo Monye apparently forgot that he was playing at full back and kept popping up on the wing.  Who covered his position?  Why, Wilkinson of course.

After fifteen minutes, an ill-disciplined Australia had conceded four penalties, which gave Wilkinson the opportunity to stretch the league with his third attempt on goal from the half way line.  The ball flew through the air from Wilkinson's boot and tantalisingly bounced off the post.

Australia scrum half Will Genia looked sharp and sparky throughout the game.  In a move reminiscent of his try against New Zealand last weekend, Genia picked up the ball from the breakdown, and his dinking run through the gap left by a wandering Geraghty allowed him to waltz over the try line for a relatively soft try.  Giteau pushed the conversion across the face of the posts to leave England clinging on to a 6-5 lead after twenty one minutes.



Will Genia: irritatingly good

England finally went on a brief offensive of the Aussie line with Wilkinson popping a high cross field kick towards 6ft 7" Matt Banahan.  Banahan barely came off his wing all afternoon, and I can only deduce that this is because he has a rubbish sense of direction and needs sight of the whitewash at all times - much like how Hansel and Gretl needed the trail of breadcrumbs.  Banahan passed to Hipkiss who used his strength to bash through the  Aussie line, before Danny Care received the ball and cleverly chipped a cross field kick towards the opposite wing, knowing full well that the referee was playing advantage and the penalty in front of the posts was in the bag.  Wilkinson lined up the kick and booted it over with his eyes closed.  9-5 to England after 27 minutes.

If you had told me at this point that England's points scoring was done for the afternoon I wouldn't have believed you, but sadly that was the case.  England only seemed to pick up the points from Australian penalties, and after twenty nine minutes Australia had conceded six to England's zero.  In fairness, Wilkinson didn't receive the ball in the right places to open up the England backline, and whilst England seemed able to pass the ball up and down the line they never really threatened Australia in midfield and never looked likely to score a try. 

At half time, I would say that England had the best of the first half, and they went in at the break up at 9-5.

Then it all went wrong.  Australia came back out and completely bossed the second half. 

Immediately after the break, Australia pressurized the England line and look destined to cross.  However the English defence remained solid and the Wallabies got a case of white-line fever.  Cueto stuck a boot in and cleared the ball to release the pressure, but he was pinged for being offside which allowed Giteau to line up the three points.  9-8 to England.

Time for some impact substitutions, and after fifty five minutes James Haskell and Dylan Hartley took off their tracksuits and danced on to the pitch where they made some strong carries.  Courtney Lawes came on a few minutes later but didn't get much of a chance to show why everyone is hyping him up as the next Martin Johnson.

The Wallabies were in complete control of the second half and almost crossed the try line again, but England were saved as centre Digby Ioane flapped when he saw the try line and fumbled the ball.  It was a get out of jail card for England, not least for makeshift full back Ugo Monye who missed the crucial tackle.

Duncan Bell then came on to replace David Wilson and he immediately got penalised for collapsing the scrum when he fell flat on his face like a deflated soufflĂ©.  Replays showed this was unfair on Bell as it was the binding of the Australian loosehead that flopped.  It should have been a penalty for England, but instead Giteau whacked the ball straight through the centre of the posts to give Australia the lead for the first time.  9-11 with twenty minutes to go.

After that is was all Australia and they showed their class in the second half.  Apart from a break from Haskell and the deft skills of Wilkinson who created a sublime chip, chase, catch and quick pass to Monye, England struggled to get out of first gear.



Try time yet again for 'tashe-tasic Ashley-Cooper

It was left to Adam Ashley-Cooper with his Movember moustache to stamp home the Wallabies' authority with a great try, all from Genia's quick ball and Giteau's expert pass.  Ashley-Cooper mowed down four England defenders as he powered over from twenty metres with very impressive leg strength.  Giteau showed that there were two excellent place-kicking fly halves on the pitch, as he easily converted the try to take the score to 9-18 which is where it remained for the final eight minutes.

After a solid start from England it was a comfortable win for Australia, and unfortunately my prediction for Australia to win by 6 to 10 points came true.  Will Genia was deservedly the man of the match, and worryingly for the rest of the world he looked like a young George Gregan in the making.

In conclusion...

Whilst the England midfield was good defensively it wasn't particularly dynamic in attack.  Geraghty didn't provide many options other than the inside ball, which Australia soon got the measure of. 

Still, there were some positives for England.  Wilkinson put in some technically perfect, strong driving tackles, his tactical kicking improved as the game went on and he demonstrated his trademark quick hands, along with his perfectly composed place kicking.  Lewis Moody was another Englishman who had an impressive game.  Not only did he manage to control himself and help shake off the mantle of being a 'walking penalty machine' but he was excellent at the breakdown and got the better of his opposite number George Smith.

England need to work on sparking some life into their backline before they face Argentina next weekend.  If they don't then I expect them to be hammered by New Zealand in a couple of weeks time.

The Welsh Haka

The buzz around the Autumn Internationals has really been building this week.  Can Martin Johnson's cobbled together experimental England side overturn the Aussies at Twickenham?  Sadly I doubt it, and I think that even a reinvigorated Wilkinson will struggle to engineer a victory over the Southern Hemisphere opposition.

Still, I will gladly be proven wrong.  I'd say Australia will win by 6-10 points.

Over in the Wales camp, Mystic Warren Gatland has been hyping up the media single-handedly with his joss-stick waving beliefs that New Zealand have lost their aura, and that without Carter and McCaw in the team they are quite "vulnerable".



Dan Carter looks petrified at the threat of Wales


OK Warren, well we'll see about that.  New Zealand to win by at least 15 points.

The thing I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for this weekend is a repeat of the Wales vs New Zealand staring competition that we saw when these two sides last faced off.  If you haven't see it before, check out the video below:



Classic.

Hopefully Wales will raise their game this time by throwing a little Welsh dancing into the mix when they front up to the infamous New Zealand Haka.



Shane Williams was always first on the dancefloor

I can see it now:  Ryan Jones twirling Leigh Halfpenny around and Stephen Jones doing a solo jig. 

That will definitely strike fear into the hearts of the All Blacks.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Hey You Guys!

England vs Australia

Yesterday Martin Johnson announced the England squad to face Australia on Saturday, and with a whole raft of his first choice players keeping BUPA hospitals in business up and down the country, his selections included a few uncapped players along with a couple of blasts from the past.

I'm really pleased to see ex-Leeds Tyke Jordan Crane win his first cap, along with Northampton's Shane Geraghty and Courtney Lawes who will start on the bench.

However, most of the talk has surrounded the players returning to the England fold in a blaze of glory after reigniting their careers across the channel. From all the interviews I've read, Jonny Wilkinson is loving his new lifestyle in the south of France, and who wouldn't?  Sun, sea, a hatful of points in the French Top 14 competition, no injuries (so far), oh and the unlimited salary cap which means he got a whacking great pay rise.  Somehow, training on a drizzly Wednesday afternoon in grey and chilly Newcastle doesn't seem quite as appealing.

Steve Thompson is another player who has risen back to the top of his game like a modern day Lazarus.  Thompson retired from rugby in 2007 with a serious neck injury, but after a second opinion and the lure of all that French cheese, Thompson has put his shorts on again and is now playing for Brive.  I never really rated Thompson that much when he last played for England, as his line out throwing was wonky and he's not the most agile in the loose.  I fully expect him to be replaced by Dylan Hartley when he shakes off his hamstring injury.

Anyway despite all this, Steve Thompson's inclusion in the England squad is the reason why I've written this blog entry, as I wanted to reveal that I have found Steve's doppelgänger out there in movie land. 

Brace yourselves people: the resemblance is uncanny:




Yeah, I know.  They're twins.

I'm looking forward to some Aussie bashing on Saturday.  Don't let me down boys.

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

The Perfect 10?

The Autumn Internationals are now but days away and I am very much looking forward a spot of test match rugby. New Zealand face Australia this Saturday to kick off the proceedings with the Bledisloe Cup before England get involved against the Wallabies a week later. Then I've only got a couple of weeks to wait before I head down to Twickenham with my Dad to marvel at Dan Carter - I mean, watch England take on the might of the All Blacks.


At the moment everyone is talking about the twenty or so injuries within the England squad and musing whether Johnno should go for fresh new meat in the scrum or if he should favour some seasoned old steak. Go for youth all the way Johnno and blood some youngsters before the Six Nations. There, with that topic covered off I'm going to turn my attention to a much more interesting discussion: Just who is the Perfect 10?



England start their autumn campaign against Australia before meeting Argentina and finally the All Blacks. All three games promise to be juicy encounters, and these four teams also happen to feature the best looking number tens in world rugby, namely:



Jonny Wilkinson, England
Dan Carter, New Zealand
Felipe Contepomi, Argentina
Berrick Barnes, Australia



It's a female rugby-lover's dream: scintillating rugby played by some rather aesthetically pleasing men.



And relax.



However, with only my rugby-stats hat on I thought I'd delve deeper into these four fly halves, check out their statistics and compare their performances to find out who is the best fly-half of them all.



Arguably the two best fly-halves in the world have both recently made successful comebacks from injury: Dan Carter from an Achilles injury and Jonny Wilkinson from, well - pick any injury you like. Jonny's probably had every possible ailment about five times over, but happily he's now rejuvenating his rugby career and enjoying life in Toulon, and (dare I whisper it) is staying injury free. Dan on the other hand is back playing for Canterbury in his native New Zealand and modelling for Jockey underwear, as you do.





So let's look at the bare statistics....




Jonny Wilkinson
5ft 10in
193lb
30 years old



England Test Match career:
70 games
6 tries
144 conversions
209 penalties
29 drop goals
1032 points (avg 14.75 per game)







Dan Carter
5ft 10in

203lb
27 years old



New Zealand Test Match career:
62 games
25 tries

161 conversions
158 penalties
2 drop goals
927 points (avg 15.0 points per game)















Felipe Contepomi
6ft 0in
202lb
32 years of age


Argentina Test Career:
65 games
11 tries
56 conversions
101 penalties
2 drop goals
476 points (avg 7.3 points per game)












Berrick Barnes
6ft 0in
194lb
23 years old

Australia Test career:
21 games
4 tries
1 conversion
0 penalties
5 drop goals
37 points (avg 1.75 points per game)































Of course, these statistics don't tell the full story. Contepomi and Barnes both switch between fly-half and inside centre which helps to explain why their average points per game are below the mighty boots of Carter and Wilkinson. In fact, it's unsure as to whether Contepomi will slip on the number ten shirt in this autumn's test matches at all, and whether fly-half Juan Martin Hernandez will be involved since his name wasn't included in the original Argentina squad.







Berrick Barnes has been named vice captain of Australia for the tour and it will be interesting to see how this chiseled beach blonde buck from Brisbane will fare against his opposite numbers in the competition. I have to admit that I don't know too much about him, but I will definitely be keeping my eye on him over the next month - for purely research purposes you understand.







That leaves Jonny Wilkinson and Dan Carter vying for pole position as the perfect number ten. So who will come out on top?





Wilkinson hasn't pulled on an England shirt since 8th March 2008 in the Six Nations game against Scotland, but his involvement in that game secured him the accolade of top international rugby union points scorer of all time (including his 67 points for the Lions) when he overtook Neil Jenkins. Despite not playing at international level for 18 months, Jonny seems to be enjoying his Gallic adventure as he is currently the top points scorer in the French Top 14 competition this season. So can he replicate this form for England? I certainly hope so. Not only is he racking up the points, Wilkinson is back to the big tackling, commanding role that he always seemed to assume so effortlessly for England. Let's hope his (injury free) renaissance can continue in an England shirt next month.











Dan Carter on the other hand is widely regarded as the best fly-half in the world due to his calm and tactical rugby brain, dangerous side step, rapid acceleration and expert kicking game. I cannot knock Dan Carter and for me he is the perfect number ten in world rugby at the moment.


I cannot wait to see Carter and Wilkinson face off at Twickenham on the 21st November to see how these two towering fly-halves of world rugby will match up against each other. Dan lies second on the all time All Blacks top points scorers list behind fellow number ten Andrew Mehrtons, and Dan's points tally includes 25 tries to Wilkinson's 6. Whilst both Wilkinson and Carter have the astute tactical kicking game nailed on, Carter seems to have the extra facet to his game and pace to break the line and steam over for try after try. Whilst I hope the Autumn Internationals result in England victories, my eyes will be firmly fixed on this rare opportunity to watch these two half back maestros in action.



As I say, I cannot wait!