Bottom of the Ruck

I've been asked to help promote a brilliant new rugby charity night and I am more than happy to do so.

Bottom of the Ruck is a fantastic event aiming to raise money for Beating Bowel Cancer by checking out rugby players' bums.

Yes, you read that right.

What started as a cheeky chat on Twitter has developed into a star-studded awards ceremony to crown the Best Bottom in Rugby at Twickenham Stadium on Monday 29 November.

World Cup winner Austin Healey will be hosting the event and nominees Nick Kennedy, Delon Armitage, Topsy Ojo, Schalk Brits and Nils Mordt are amongst the players who will be attending.

Tickets are on sale now.

For more information you can visit at www.bottomoftheruck.com

Baa-d Selection?

Charlie Hodgson will slip on the crucial number 10 shirt and make his first start for England in two years when he lines up to play the Barbarians this Sunday.

Nick Easter will skipper England against the Baa-Baas in the MasterCard Trophy clash at Twickenham, k.o. 5pm, in the absence of Lewis Moody.  The Leicester flanker is unavailable as he plays with the Tigers against Saracens in the Guinness Premiership final on Saturday.

And in a reshuffled side, Easter is one just of 10 survivors from the squad that finished the RBS 6 Nations in Paris.

But the real headline grabber is a start for Charlie Hodgson, Sale Sharks fly-half, who has not played for England since 2008.

Hodgson has fallen from favour in recent years, and critics thought he had kicked his last chance on the international stage firmly into touch.

However, Johnson has given him another go - aruguably at the expense of Northampton Saints' Stephen Myler, who is in the Saxons squad but is surely a better option at 10?

Jonny Wilkinson, Hodgson's main rival at stand-off, is not in the side after collapsing with an injury in the Amlin Cup final last Sunday, and Toby Flood is also unavailable due to the Guinness Premiership final.

But there is a refreshing number of uncapped players blended with experience in the 22 man team.

Hodgson lines up with uncapped centre Shontayne Hape (Bath Rugby), Mike Tindall is Hape's partner at outside centre and there is an exciting back three of Ben Foden (Northampton Saints), Mark Cueto (Sale Sharks) and David Strettle (Harlequins), who returns after a two year absence.

The forwards include uncapped prop Jon Golding (Newcastle Falcons) and lock Dave Attwood (Gloucester Rugby), with Dan Ward-Smith (London Wasps) on the bench.  Tight head prop Paul Doran-Jones makes his first appearance in England colours since his debut against Argentina last November and uncapped Wasps scrum-half Joe Simpson takes a seat on the bench.

However, there is no place in the 22 for Northampton wing Chris Ashton, and Bath's form centre, Olly Barkley, is only a replacement.

Despite that, I'm pretty happy with this team.  The game against the Baa-Baas is a non-cap game and gives the England management the chance to mix things up a bit.

And it looks like they have grabbed the opportunity with both hands.

My only real worry is the selection of Hodgson at fly-half.  I'm still beating the "Stephen Myler for England" drum.  It's a real shame he's only in the second-string Saxons.  In fact, I might launch a campaign...


England Team to face the Barbarians

15 Ben Foden (Northampton Saints)
14 Mark Cueto (Sale Sharks)
13 Mike Tindall (Gloucester Rugby)
12 Shontayne Hape (Bath Rugby)
11 David Strettle (Harlequins)
10 Charlie Hodgson (Sale Sharks)
9 Danny Care (Harlequins)
1 Jon Golding (Newcastle Falcons)
2 Steve Thompson (CA Brive)
3 Paul Doran-Jones (Gloucester Rugby)
4 Dave Attwood (Gloucester Rugby)
5 Tom Palmer (Stade Francais)
6 James Haskell (Stade Francais)
7 Steffon Armitage (London Irish)
8 Nick Easter (Harlequins) CAPTAIN

Replacements

16 Lee Mears (Bath Rugby)
17 Tim Payne (London Wasps)
18 Dan Ward-Smith (London Wasps)
19 Joe Worsley (London Wasps)
20 Joe Simpson (London Wasps)
21 Olly Barkley (Bath Rugby)
22 Mathew Tait (Sale Sharks)


But what do you think?

Are England Worth it?

Tickets to watch England at Twickenham: £71 x 2

Petrol: £60*

Car Parking: £20

Food and Drink: £50

A winning England performance: Priceless?

No, this isn't a Mastercard advert.

With my average mathematics skills, I calculate that all that tots up to £272 for two people to watch England play at Twickenham. I know this to be true, as I made this very trip with my Dad to see them take on New Zealand a couple of weeks ago.

My question is: with the standard of the England team and the rugby they are playing at the moment, is it actually worth all that money to go and watch them play?

Sure, the atmosphere and the occasion is something special, but the rugby really isn't. I'd get as much entertainment (if not more) by going to watch my local team play, although sadly the results at Headingley Carnegie generally go the same way as they do for England at the moment: not well.

I've entered the ballot for tickets to watch England take on Ireland in the 6 Nations, which to be honest is the only game I'm interested in watching live.  At least Ireland will bring some quality and excitement to proceedings even if England won't.

So are England really worth it? I'm not too sure...

* Return journey to Leeds

My Trip to Twickenham: A Day in Pictures

What did I hope to get out of my trip to Twickenham to see England take on the All Blacks?

Well, an England win of course, a few scintillating tries and an unlikely meeting with New Zealand's delicious Dan Carter. 

Sadly I came away from south-west London disappointed on all three fronts, although I did have a brilliant day and it was a fantastic occasion.  Oh, and the fact that England didn't get rogered by 30 points as I predicted also helped.

Here is my day in pictures...

After hitting the M1 at 8am as planned, the irritating roadworks around Nottingham took their toll which necessitated a slightly earlier pit stop.  After parking up at Oxford services, my Dad noticed the registration plate of the car in front of us:

Was this an omen for England?  Why try (when you know you're going to get your arses kicked?)

Putting aside that unsavoury thought, we battled through the traffic and arrived at Twickenham stadium for 12:30pm.

Oh look, it's the player's entrance.  How handy.

After speaking with a friendly steward with dodgy peroxide blonde hair, I ascertained that the arrival of the teams was imminent.  Excellent.  Time to sharpen those elbows...

Team England rocked up first, and despite my best efforts I was pretty rubbish at getting any good photos.  Still, here are the best ones:

Jonny!

Danny Care, Simon Shaw and Ugo Monye

I decided that a better viewpoint was required for the arrival of the All Blacks, so Dad and I climbed the west stand stairs and waited for the NZ team bus and the moment I'd been longing for...

DAN!  DAN!  DAN!

Don't worry, I didn't shout or make a tit of myself.  I just took this photo of him walking along with his head down.  Grr.

With the players safely arrived, Dad and I decided to refresh ourselves with a luke warm beer.  As my Dad is a smoker we drank them outside the west stand in a delightful location next to some bins whilst he puffed on his pipe.  It is here where I noticed something rather amusing, given the current questions surrounding the England set up:

Yes that's right - Rob Andrew is poised to fall into a bin.  Irony or prophesy?

With my Dad finished sending smoke signals we decided to have a nosy around the stadium and see what was happening on the pitch.

Lo and behold, it's Jonny Wilkinson practising his kicks/curling out a poo.

We watched England and New Zealand warming up for a while at their respective ends of the pitch and soon enough it was time to take our seats for the game.  A giant cross of St. George was draped across the pitch by some lovely army lads, and then the England team ran out to blasts of fire:

Top of my Christmas wish list: a flame throwing camera.

The teams lined up for the anthems...

...and then you can read my review to find out the rest.

It was a great day even though I sadly didn't fulfil my Quest to Meet Dan Carter, my Dad and I both really enjoyed ourselves. 

It's just a shame that it is such a long drive to get there...

Hopefully when I venture down to Twickenham again the result will be slightly more favourable.

Off-Colour All Blacks Beat Unbalanced England

England 6 - 19 New Zealand

Perched high up from my seat in Twickenham's west stand I watched a slightly off-colour All Blacks do enough to beat a rather unbalanced England on a drizzly afternoon at the home of rugby yesterday afternoon.

It was my first trip to Twickenham to watch an England test match, and whilst it might not have been the most exhilarating, free-flowing game in the world it was a brilliant occasion with a atmosphere to match.  England supporters haven't had much to cheer about in recent weeks, so with me fully expecting England to be dished out a rather unappetizing rugby lesson from Ritchie McCaw and pals, all I really hoped for was that England came out to play some rugby and didn't just capitulate at the hands of the currently top ranked team in the world.

"Right boys.  They've laid out the red carpet for us.  Let's give them a pasting."

Going in to this game there were plenty of subplots:
Dan Carter needed only two more points to overtake Andrew Mehrtons and become New Zealand's highest point scorer of all time.  There was also Carter's much hyped face off with Jonny Wilkinson to consider, heralded as a clash between the best fly-half in the world and his injury ravaged predecessor.  Oh, and then there was also the small matter of the microscope that had been firmly placed over Martin Johnson, his coaching squad and their team selection.  Surely a bad performance against New Zealand would result in a few casualties in this department, wouldn't it?

The game began and it was England who looked the steadier team and more physical and committed.  Matt Banahan looked like he'd caught a bought of rabies from 'Mad Dog' Lewis Moody, as from the kick off he sprinted and harried and gave Moody the opportunity to put pressure on the clearance kick from Dan Carter.  In fact, I don't know if Mehrton's record was playing on Carter's mind but he had a rather shaky start which developed into one of the worst performances I've seen him play.  With an astonishing record of slotting 31 out of his last 32 attempts on goal, the Twickenham crowd fully expected Carter to pass Mehrton's record within the first few minutes when New Zealand won a penalty.

The crowd held its breath and no doubt the commentators on Sky waxed lyrical about Carter's accuracy and his amazing conversion rate - just as Carter proceeded to push the ball wide.  WHAT?  A let off for England.

Rain started to fall and the game inevitably got a bit scrappy.  To their credit, both teams still tried to run with the ball and it didn't disintegrate into a tedious kick-fest.  A slippy ball and surface almost provided Ugo Monye with the opening try when he tackled Zak Guildford who was running the ball out of the New Zealand twenty-two, causing it to pop up and land in Monye's hands.  Monye sprinted over the line but the try was ruled out by referee Jonathan Kaplan.  I had a great view of Monye's effort and I thought it looked fine, but having seen the replay this morning, as much as it pains me to say it, Kaplan was right.

Despite their efforts to run the ball England's back line still played too deep and never really threatened the advantage line.  Jonny Wilkinson needs to stand flatter like he does at Toulon and drag the backs up with him.  With all the excitement of an 'almost try' for England, Wilkinson settled Twickenham's nerves by coolly kicking England's first scoring opportunity when New Zealand infringed at the breakdown.  3-0 to England after 15 minutes.

Jonny opens the scoring

What then followed was a litany of mistakes from the usually faultless Carter.  A missed kick into touch; a spill of the ball in the tackle; kicks up field that lacked their usual epic length.  Why Carter didn't try and put pressure on butterfingers Banahan and Monye with the high ball I don't know.  Instead he was happy to kick the ball up field where the much more composed Cueto was waiting, and despite not having played at full back for Sale this season he looked calm under the high ball.  Even though Carter's kicking boots weren't weaving their usual magic, the line-out that resulted from one of his successful kicks into touch almost saw New Zealand cross the line for the first time.  The ball was fed out from the line-out to Carter who was standing flat.  He passed the ball to Conrad Smith who made a break and linked up with full back Mils Mulianina who would have scored in the corner had it not been for Monye's rapid scramble defence.  A lesson for England:  New Zealand were playing flat, quickly crossed the advantage line and almost scored.  A worrying threat from the All Blacks at the end of the first quarter.

Finally, New Zealand fans got to see what they had been waiting for when Tim Payne was penalised for a couple of punches that he casually threw in at the breakdown.  I've no idea why this didn't earn him a yellow card so England were lucky in this respect, but not where Carter was concerned as he finally found his kicking boots and easily scored his first points of the game with a brilliant kick in the tricky conditions.  Congratulations on passing Mehrton's record Dan.

Carter lining up to pass Mehrton's record

Wilkinson and Carter exchanged another penalty each before half time (along with yet another uncharacteristic miss from Carter), and then the England belief and defence saw them shut down the New Zealand threat in the last five minutes of the half when they threatened the England line.  This was a definite step up from England's performance against Argentina.

The second half started in much the same way as the first, with both teams trying to play expansive rugby and both teams failing as the ball went to ground.  The first echoes of 'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" reverberated from the stands but it couldn't prevent New Zealand scoring what turned out to be the only try of the game when scrum-half Jimmy Cowan crossed after excellent link up play between Sitiveni Sivivatu and Richie McCaw.  Now with his eyes firmly on the prize, Carter successfully kicked a difficult conversion from the touchline to take his tally to four kicks from six.  6-16 to the All Blacks after 59 minutes.

As the rain started to fall harder, England started to try and force the game.  Despite having a penalty in the bag, Jonny Wilkinson tried for a drop goal and failed.  Why didn't you push for the try Jonny or at least go back for the place-kicked penalty?  With England pushing the game New Zealand capitalized again due to their ability to quickly get over the gainline.  Replacement hooker Steve Thompson got pinged by referee Kaplan for diving in at the breakdown, gifting the rather off-colour Carter an easy penalty under the posts to take the score to 6-19 with just over ten minutes remaining.

Maybe the fact that England had made 112 tackles to New Zealand's 60 meant that they were tiring, so even with Geraghty and Tait on the field the last ditch attempts to pressurize the All Blacks line failed.

The game ended with a rather scrappy New Zealand beating England by 6-19. 

Before the game I said I wanted to see England play and they definitely did that to a higher standard than they showed against Australia and Argentina.  Industry, passion and commitment were all in evidence but accuracy and incision were sadly missing.  With the selections of Erinle and Hipkiss in the centre, Shaw in the second row and Banahan on the wing it was clear that Martin Johnson had assembled a team that could physically front up to the All Blacks.  That's fine, but in doing this there was no room for the finishers which left a rather unbalanced side.  There's a lot of work needed before the Six Nations, but hopefully with players like Toby Flood coming back from injury it might help sort out England's midfield woes.

New Zealand on the other hand, put in a generally good all round performance but with no real standout players.  I was really happy to watch them in my first ever live international game but they are still very much a work in progress and yesterday they weren't the prolific New Zealand side that I have come to expect.  Still, it's their third game on the bounce where they haven't conceded a try, although they've got plenty to work on before they face their big test of their autumn tour when they take on France in Marseille next weekend.

The Quest to Meet Dan Carter (3): T minus 1 day 20 hours and 13 minutes

Right then.

I've only got two more night's sleep and a few more hours of pesky work standing between me and the opportunity to meet my favourite rugby hunk du jour, the lovely Dan Carter.

So far I've hatched a few plans, realised I run the risk of degenerating into a desperado and have pulled myself back from the brink of transforming into a female version of Alan Partridge.

I spoke with my Dad last night (as we are going to watch the rugby at Twickenham together) and we have formulated a plan of action for the trip.  Well, my Dad knows about the plan up until about point number 7:

1. Set off from my house at 8am.
2. While away the time on the tedious drive down the M1 by eating sweets, listening to Chris Rea (my Dad's choice) and stopping off at Newport Pagnell services for a quick wee.
   

The sun always shines at Newport Pagnell
3. Arrive in the Twickenham area (traffic permitting) by about 12pm.
4. Park the car and tuck in to the lovely selection of sandwiches I made before we set off.  (Arse.  Must remember to do that before we leave).
5. Laugh at my Dad as he tries to make a brew on a gas camping stove in gale force winds with a comedy camping kettle.
6. Take it all back as the brew tastes lovely.
   

Surprisingly useful
7. Head to the stadium at approximately 12:30pm.
8. Get a pie.
9. Pester my Dad to go to the players entrance.
10. Get annoyed with him when he drags me to the shop to buy an England umbrella instead.
11. Sulk for 5 minutes before realising that I am in a SHOP and I have my credit card with me.
12. Buy some England branded tat.
    

I won't be buying this really. 
13. Have a bit of a wander around.  Try to drag my Dad to the players entrance.  Fail.
14. Sulk again.
15. Tell my Dad that he's rubbish and I might have to revert to plan B and pass him off as Bill Beaumont if he doesn't co-operate.
16. Successfully arrive at the players entrance only to realise it's now 1:15pm and that they've already arrived.
17. Decide to go to the bar instead (as my Dad is driving) and drink some wine.
    
    

Please numb the pain of what is to come...
18. Drink some more wine.
19. Realise it's nearly time for kick off and that I need another wee.
20. Queue for what seems like 5 hours for the ladies.
21. Take our seats at 2:15pm
22. Watch the game.
23. Get depressed.
24. Leave.
25. Drive back listening to 'Big Country' with me suffering from a mild hangover.

Hmm.  Yes I think that's how it will probably go, but then again you never know.

I'm still hopeful.

The Quest to Meet Dan Carter (2): Research

A quick update on my masterplan to meet Dan Carter....

Thanks to a top tip from one of my readers and a quick glance at my ticket for the England vs New Zealand game next weekend, I have discovered that the player's entrance to Twickenham stadium is in the West Stand, and that my seat is - yes, that's right - in the West Stand.  A coincidence?  Probably.  Or could it be fate?  Well, probably not.

Either way, a nice early arrival and the expert use of my elbows to get to the front of the crowd might afford me a glimpse of my tracksuit-clad (minor) rugby obsession, the lovely Dan Carter.

Hello!

However, when I stop to imagine the moment where I see Dan up close and personal for the first time, I can't help shake off the image that I will somehow rapidly metamorphosize into a female version of Alan Partridge:

I cannot let this happen.

Next on the agenda:  Practising keeping my cool.

The Quest to Meet Dan Carter

I've been an admirer of Dan Carter for some time now.

Why?

Oh I don't know.  Could it be his prowess with a rugby ball and his skills as the near perfect number 10? 

Well yes....

And could it be that it's because he is totally gorgeous, has such cute dimples, an amazing body and seems to be a pretty nice bloke along with it?

Er, yeah that too.

Dan Carter: Brilliant

I'm not ashamed to admit it, but yes I have a crush on Dan Carter.  Of course my boyfriend is thrilled about this, but he's got no room to talk as he bleats on about the joys of Katherine Heigl every time he watches "Grey's Anatomy".  Funnily enough it's OK for him to admire her "qualities" but he gets upset if I mention Dan.  I wonder why?

Katherine Heigl:  So that's what all the fuss is about...

Anyway, my boyfriend has no need to worry.  I've not assembled a shrine to sexy Dan at the foot of my bed, I don't fantasise about him whisking me off into the sunset, and the achingly handsome Mr. Carter hasn't slapped a restraining order on me as I'm not some sort of weird knicker-wielding stalker.

However, I would very much like to meet the lovely Dan, shake him by the hand, tell him that I think he's ace and have my photo taken with him.  And maybe cop a feel of guns.  Well, I can dream...

Therefore, my trip down to Twickenham for the England vs New Zealand game the weekend after next with my Dad is probably the best chance I'll get to make my photo opportunity/bicep stroking dreams a reality.  All I need is a plan.


So far I have come up with three ideas:

1. Masquerade as a member of the Sky Sports team
   
   
   
   
   
   This might sound unlikely but it inadvertently worked for my friend Joe. 
   
   The other month Joe went over to Dublin's RDS to watch the Leinster vs London Irish game, and he was nonchalantly minding his own business under the stand when a friendly security guard called him over.
   
   "Are you waiting for Billy*?" asked the friendly Irish security guard.
   
   "Billy....?" Joe replied, utterly confused.
   
   "Yeah, he's inside with yer pass," the security guard continued, pointing through the door into the press area.  "You can go in if you like."
   
   "Oh right," said Joe, who then proceeded to walk into a room filled with media types and hardened hacks.
   
   Upon arrival he was accosted by Billy, who turned out to work for Sky Sports.
   
   "Right, here's your pass.  Follow me,"  Billy stated, before leading Joe out of the room and into some kind of marquee area.
   
   A perplexed Joe stood there for a couple of minutes before realising where he was: in the press area right next to the pitch. 
   
   Soon, Brian O'Driscoll, Rob Kearney and Luke Fitzgerald were all sauntering past, and to his credit, Joe stood there in a dignified silence - well, apart from wishing them all good luck. 
   
   Moments after the teams had filed through, Joe spotted an angry looking Billy catch his eye and start walking towards him.  Realising he was busted, Joe legged it through the nearest exit.  Still, it was an excellent slice of luck.
   
   
   
   Now I admit, if that had happened to me, my face would have blushed redder than Rafa Benitez's face after another humiliating Liverpool defeat and I would have probably made a total tit out of myself or been shamefully girly.  However, if I prepare myself for something like this to potentially happen when I am at Twickenham then I will be OK.  All I need to do now is locate where the Sky Sports presenters/camera men/technicians hang out when I am there.
   
   
   
   * Name changed!
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Pass my Dad off as Bill Beaumont.
   
   
   
   OK, so my Dad and Bill have a few things in common: They're both from Chorley; they're practically the same age; they're almost the same height; they have the same accent, and their hair is practically identical.
   
   The only issues are:
   
   
   
   a)  My Dad has a beard and Bill doesn't
   
   
   
   b)  My Dad doesn't own a suit, and to get away with this ruse he'd have to wear one to the game.
   
   Still, other than that I reckon I could fool the bods at Twickenham that my Dad is actually Bill Beaumont, so it might be worth a go. With my Dad as Bill, we could get to the 'inner sanctum' and therefore be more likely to meet Dan Carter. Or be banned from Twickenham for life: it could go either way.
   
   
   
3. Find out which hotel the New Zealand team is staying in and stake it out
   
   Slightly stalky and therefore not the best idea, plus my Dad and I have a long trip back up the M1 after the game and I don't think he'd appreciate loitering in a hotel lobby for several hours. Not that I'd ever be able to find out which hotel they're staying in anyway....
   

 Back to the drawing board methinks. 

The Perfect 10?

The Autumn Internationals are now but days away and I am very much looking forward a spot of test match rugby. New Zealand face Australia this Saturday to kick off the proceedings with the Bledisloe Cup before England get involved against the Wallabies a week later. Then I've only got a couple of weeks to wait before I head down to Twickenham with my Dad to marvel at Dan Carter - I mean, watch England take on the might of the All Blacks.

At the moment everyone is talking about the twenty or so injuries within the England squad and musing whether Johnno should go for fresh new meat in the scrum or if he should favour some seasoned old steak. Go for youth all the way Johnno and blood some youngsters before the Six Nations. There, with that topic covered off I'm going to turn my attention to a much more interesting discussion: Just who is the Perfect 10?

England start their autumn campaign against Australia before meeting Argentina and finally the All Blacks. All three games promise to be juicy encounters, and these four teams also happen to feature the best looking number tens in world rugby, namely:

Jonny Wilkinson, England

Dan Carter, New Zealand

Felipe Contepomi, Argentina

Berrick Barnes, Australia

It's a female rugby-lover's dream: scintillating rugby played by some rather aesthetically pleasing men.

And relax.

However, with only my rugby-stats hat on I thought I'd delve deeper into these four fly halves, check out their statistics and compare their performances to find out who is the best fly-half of them all.

Arguably the two best fly-halves in the world have both recently made successful comebacks from injury: Dan Carter from an Achilles injury and Jonny Wilkinson from, well - pick any injury you like. Jonny's probably had every possible ailment about five times over, but happily he's now rejuvenating his rugby career and enjoying life in Toulon, and (dare I whisper it) is staying injury free. Dan on the other hand is back playing for Canterbury in his native New Zealand and modelling for Jockey underwear, as you do.

So let's look at the bare statistics....

Jonny Wilkinson

5ft 10in

193lb

30 years old

England Test Match career:

70 games

6 tries

144 conversions

209 penalties

29 drop goals

1032 points (avg 14.75 per game)

Dan Carter

5ft 10in

203lb

27 years old

New Zealand Test Match career:

62 games
25 tries

161 conversions

158 penalties

2 drop goals

927 points (avg 15.0 points per game)

Felipe Contepomi
6ft 0in

202lb

32 years of age

Argentina Test Career:

65 games

11 tries

56 conversions

101 penalties

2 drop goals

476 points (avg 7.3 points per game)

Berrick Barnes

6ft 0in

194lb

23 years old

Australia Test career:

21 games

4 tries

1 conversion

0 penalties

5 drop goals

37 points (avg 1.75 points per game)

Of course, these statistics don't tell the full story. Contepomi and Barnes both switch between fly-half and inside centre which helps to explain why their average points per game are below the mighty boots of Carter and Wilkinson. In fact, it's unsure as to whether Contepomi will slip on the number ten shirt in this autumn's test matches at all, and whether fly-half Juan Martin Hernandez will be involved since his name wasn't included in the original Argentina squad.

Berrick Barnes has been named vice captain of Australia for the tour and it will be interesting to see how this chiseled beach blonde buck from Brisbane will fare against his opposite numbers in the competition. I have to admit that I don't know too much about him, but I will definitely be keeping my eye on him over the next month - for purely research purposes you understand.

That leaves Jonny Wilkinson and Dan Carter vying for pole position as the perfect number ten. So who will come out on top?

Wilkinson hasn't pulled on an England shirt since 8th March 2008 in the Six Nations game against Scotland, but his involvement in that game secured him the accolade of top international rugby union points scorer of all time (including his 67 points for the Lions) when he overtook Neil Jenkins. Despite not playing at international level for 18 months, Jonny seems to be enjoying his Gallic adventure as he is currently the top points scorer in the French Top 14 competition this season. So can he replicate this form for England? I certainly hope so. Not only is he racking up the points, Wilkinson is back to the big tackling, commanding role that he always seemed to assume so effortlessly for England. Let's hope his (injury free) renaissance can continue in an England shirt next month.

Dan Carter on the other hand is widely regarded as the best fly-half in the world due to his calm and tactical rugby brain, dangerous side step, rapid acceleration and expert kicking game. I cannot knock Dan Carter and for me he is the perfect number ten in world rugby at the moment.

I cannot wait to see Carter and Wilkinson face off at Twickenham on the 21st November to see how these two towering fly-halves of world rugby will match up against each other. Dan lies second on the all time All Blacks top points scorers list behind fellow number ten Andrew Mehrtons, and Dan's points tally includes 25 tries to Wilkinson's 6. Whilst both Wilkinson and Carter have the astute tactical kicking game nailed on, Carter seems to have the extra facet to his game and pace to break the line and steam over for try after try. Whilst I hope the Autumn Internationals result in England victories, my eyes will be firmly fixed on this rare opportunity to watch these two half back maestros in action.

As I say, I cannot wait!

Twickenham here I come!

Today was pretty crap until precisely 17:29.

To give you a gist of my mind numbing Thursday it basically involved me sitting at my desk staring blankly at my computer screen with zero inspiration for the problem I was trying to solve. After several failed attempts (and after slipping into my spurs and Stetson and writing possibly some of the worst programming code of my life) I conducted a swift DIY lobotomy on myself with a sharpened pencil and then hastily cancelled a hotel in Edinburgh and re-booked myself into an apartment in Manchester - which, as you will probably know, isn't exactly handy if you want to spend the weekend tossing cabers and laughing at drunken Scottish tramps.

Anyway, after getting into a right radge and causing my friend Nicola to have a small nervous breakdown (as she is accompanying me on my trip to Edinburgh), I received the best news I've had in a long time.

I was just about to shut down my crappy steam-driven computer and go home and sulk when an email irritatingly pinged into my inbox. I hate it when that happens. Nine times out of ten it turns out to be a pesky client with a super urgent ID.10T issue which I have to stay late and solve. But not tonight. Oh no. Tonight, my 17:29 email from was from a lovely chap called Mike Bidgood at the Leeds Carnegie ticket office, who was writing to kindly inform me that my name had been drawn in the ballot, and I am one of the chosen few who gets the opportunity to buy tickets for....

wait for it...

ENGLAND VS NEW ZEALAND AT TWICKENHAM!!!

Oh, and to make things even better, apparently I can buy tickets for the England vs Australia game too.

:-)

YESSSS!

This is brilliant for two reasons:

1. I have never been to Twickenham to watch an England international game before. I did go in 2005 to watch Leeds lift the Powergen Cup (remember that one Bath fans?) but other than that, securing tickets to watch England at the home of rugby has been about as easy as finding anyone who thinks X-Factor's John and Edward are talented. (Seriously? Who is voting for those high-haired jeb ends?)

2. If you even vaguely know me you will know that I have a massive interest* with New Zealand's fly half, the ever sexy and amazing Dan Carter.

(* I prefer to say interest and not 'obsession' as it stops me from sounding slightly stalky, and plus Dan doesn't have a restraining order out on me - that I know of).

I think this calls for a rather gratuitous pic of Dan Carter playing with a ball:

I am one very happy bunny at the moment, as is my Dad (who is coming with me) and my boyfriend (who isn't and will therefore get a weekend of peace and quiet.)

Oh, and to top it all off, after work I *accidentally* went into town and bought myself a new handbag. Well, there was 10% off so it would have been rude not to!

So there you go: after a totally wank start this was probably one of the better Thursdays I've ever had. Maybe I'll start looking forward to the 17:29 emails a bit more in future....