Leeds Carnegie vs Bourgoin: The Verdict

Leeds Carnegie 9 - 18 Bourgoin
Amlin Challenge Cup

Electrifying.  Dazzling.  Dynamic.

The last three words I would pick to sum up this game of rugby. 

Wake me up when it's over

To say this game showcased Leeds' worst performance in a considerable time is an understatement.  Never mind ten man rugby, Leeds resorted to playing eight man rugby at times, with a backline lacking in any form of cohesiveness or invention.  During the first half, Ceiron Thomas ran around in indecisive circles whenever he got the ball, before passing it to the static backline who had about as much guile and penetration as a flaccid sausage.

It didn't take Leeds long to be on the wrong end of a 12-0 score line.  Bourgoin's wing Jean-Francois Coux went over in the corner for their first try, before Leeds' calamitous centre Henry Paul coughed up the ball in midfield which allowed Bourgoin's full back, Anthony Forest, to hoof the spilled ball down the pitch where wing Albert Vulivuli outsprinted the dawdling Leeds defence and touched down  The boot of Ceiron Thomas kept Leeds in touch at half time, as he slotted over a couple of easy penalties from pretty much in front of the posts to end the dreary first half with Leeds trailing 6-12.

I don't know how they did it, but after the break Leeds somehow managed to make their first half performance look absolutely scintillating, thanks to a second half performance which almost resulted in the crowd slipping into a collective coma.  In what I can only describe as the most tedious forty minutes of rugby I've ever had to endure in my entire life, Leeds treated the freezing Headingley crowd to a smorgasbord of handling errors and about as much vision as a blindfolded bat.  In fact I wish I had been blindfolded, because then I wouldn't have been forced to witness Leeds' lazy tackling, ridiculous offloading and general ineffectiveness.

The only points of note within the second half were a couple of drop goals scored by the Bourgoin fly-half, Benjamin Boyet and another penalty from Ceiron Thomas.  This was despite Leeds having the majority of the possession thanks to their hard working forwards.  Did I already mention just how boring it was?

Headingley Carnegie must exist in its own space/time continuum, as the last ten minutes of the match seemed to stretch out for several light years.  With the crowd pleading the referee to blow the final whistle with five minutes remaining, when he finally ended the torture the entire 2,698 crowd let out a simultaneous sigh of relief.

Still, there were a few good things to come out of this game:

• The Leeds scrum looked strong and functioned well for the vast majority of the game.  It was a pity that nothing much came from this solid platform.
• The forwards mauled their way up field almost effortlessly on several occasions, again sadly with no points materialising as a result.
• Now that Leeds are out of this competition they can fully concentrate on the Guinness Premiership.  Based on today's performance they're going to have to concentrate really hard to avoid the spectre of relegation that is currently hanging over them.
• I now have a sure fire way of beating insomnia, as if I'm ever struggling to drift off to sleep then all I have to do is remember this rather snore-inducing game and I'll be whisked off to the land of nod in seconds.

I also had the following things confirmed:

• Henry Paul is about as useful as a chocolate fireguard and should be put out to pasture where he can throw as many passes to nowhere as he likes.  If he is the answer at number 12 then I dread to think what the question was.
• Calum Clark looks really pretty in a headband.

In conclusion, that was eighty minutes of my life that I won't get back.  Still, it could be worse.  Leeds could be playing a good team next week.  Oh, they're playing Saracens in the LV= Cup.  Great.

Not So Cocky: Leicester Tigers vs Leeds Carnegie Preview

When Leeds Carnegie roll into Welford Road this Saturday for their next installment of the Guinness Premiership, they will have to strain their ears in order to hear the distant crowing of the suspended Richard Cockerill.  With his place firmly reserved on the naughty step, it's nice of Cockers to step aside and herald the return of the Leicester old guard and watch Neil Back and Andy Key lead the much improved Leeds Carnegie side onto the turf of the Champions.

His lips are sealed

Of course it's not just Back and Key who used to haunt the locker room at Welford Road.  This Saturday's game is a trip down memory lane for three members of the Leeds squad, at least two of which are likely to start against their old club.  Leeds captain Marco Wentzl completed a recce of the new look Welford Road a couple of weeks ago when he moonlighted as a pundit and watched Leicester topple a lacklustre South Africa, and I'm sure the returning Wentzl, Rabeni and Moreno will all raise their game if they are selected to run out in front of the impressive new Caterpillar Stand.

Whisperings on the Leicester Tigers message board have hinted that this weekend's game might well see the return of hulking man mountain Alesana Tuilagi.  If that's the case then I fully expect to see a powerful running game from the Tigers with Seru Rabeni doing his best to neutralise the epic Samoan.  The return of Tuilagi really is something Leeds could do without.  Add Leicester's returning England stars into the mix along with a fit Toby Flood and it seems that the Tigers lying in wait to maul Leeds this weekend are a much more formidable challenge than the team of cubs that Leeds tamed at Headingley in the LV= Cup second round.

Gulp

However don't write Leeds Carnegie off just yet.  Historically Leeds have always been a bit of a bogey team for Leicester, and with a bit of the old Leicester magic, drive and belief instilled by Neil Back, Leeds might well have a few surprises up their sleeve.  OK so Leeds started the season slowly, but their recent form in the Guinness Premiership speaks for itself.  Last weekend they should have beaten Sale after playing some incisive rugby, but Leeds faded after half time and allowed Charlie Hodgson to get a grip on the game.  (I'm sure that's something Backy will have stamped out this week).  Had it not been for an incorrectly disallowed try Leeds would have beaten Saracens at Vicarage Road, however they took the momentum from that close encounter down to Adams Park where they ground out a well deserved victory against Wasps.  Welford Road might be an intimidating place to go, but as Marco Wentzl said: "We will go there with confidence."

So what are the key battles this weekend?  Personally I hope for an epic encounter between the two openside flankers, provided that Lewis Moody and Hendre Fourie both start.  Moody is considered by many as the one shining beacon of hope for England in a dismal series of November tests, whilst the highly rated Fourie is arguably Leeds's best player and was named Player of the Year last season.  The battle of the tens will also be one to watch, with Leeds's Ceiron Thomas growing into a solid number ten who isn't afraid to throw himself around the park.  It will be interesting to see how he matches up against the flair of Toby Flood.

Who will win the battle of the openside?

I'm not going to venture a prediction as I'd much prefer to perch uncomfortably on the fence and pull the splinters out of my arse.  However, I don't think Leeds are going to be the walkover that everyone might have expected at the start of the season.

A Broken Duck - or should that be Wasp?

London Wasps 9 - 15 Leeds Carnegie

Wow.  I mean, wow.  I can't believe what I've just seen, let alone had time for it to sink in yet. 

Leeds Carnegie have not only won their first Guinness Premiership game of the season, they've also won their first Premiership away game since November 2005 and beaten London Wasps for the very first time.  Not a bad afternoon for my beloved team of "Premiership Whipping boys" and guaranteed yo-yo relegation fodder.  It's also three very good reasons to help explain why I'm sitting typing this in a state of mild shock and am contemplating taking a couple of headache tablets and having a little lie down.

It's true that today's game down in High Wycombe wasn't the prettiest game of rugby that you will ever see.  There were no tries, no twinkle-toed side steps or freeflowing champagne rugby on display.  Instead there was plenty of grit, determination and a solid performance of all the basics by the Leeds side, although Wasps minus the might of Phil Vickery seemed to fly around rather aimlessly, much like a bunch of dozy wasps intent on repeatedly smacking their faces against a window.

Wasps failed to get a solid platform from the scrum and this stopped them from successfully feeding the ball to their mouthwatering selection of backs.  Sackey, Lemi and Van Gisbergen barely saw the ball all day and instead spent most of the afternoon in B&Q, trying to find some elbow grease to help lubricate the creaking Wasps' scrum. Nippy half-back Joe Simpson made a couple of rapid breaks, but time and again any minor threat was dampened by Leeds who had invested in a job lot of insect repellent.

Danger: High Voltage

In contrast, the Leeds forwards all had an excellent day in the scrum and they completely owned the line-out.  Amusingly, the camera kept panning to an increasingly irritated looking Wasps coach Shaun Edwards on the bench, who seemed ready to implode as Leeds stole ball after ball.  Oh how it made me laugh. 

However, it was at the breakdown where Leeds won this game.  Hendre Fourie aka Shrek had yet another excellent game, although I hope the powers that be down at Twickenham HQ aren't tempted to look any closer at the South African who now qualifies for England due to residency, as he is a key element in the Leeds pack.

The evergreen Andy Gommersall also had an exceptional game, and he used the difficult swirling wind to his advantage in the first half, by peppering spaces in the Wasps half with well placed box kicks.  And to think, I really didn't like him when he was at Gloucester.  Well Andy, I take it all back, I think you're alright.

Leeds went in at half time with a 12-6 lead, all thanks to the boot of Ceiron Thomas.  Paul Walder kicked all of Wasps points in a rather scrappy performance for the London outfit, whose only plus point of the game was the emergence from the bench of man mountain Simon Shaw who has been out with a long term foot injury.  Thomas kept his cool and traded penalties with Walder to end the game 9-15 and prompt all the Leeds squad to leap with joy and start a good few minutes of well deserved back-slapping.

Woo!  Milky Bars are on me!

If Saracens can top the league by playing 'boring' gritty rugby, then I don't see why this won't do the trick in helping Leeds peel themselves off the bottom.  The gap to next placed Bath has been cut to two points with these two teams set to face each other in their first match of the new year at Headingley Carnegie on Saturday 2nd January.  Unfortunately I'm going to miss this game as I'll be dragging my decrepit body back from a New Year's Eve blowout in Brussels.  Mmm, chocolate.

Anyway, as the season progresses, Leeds will need to find the ability to turn periods of pressure into points and score tries rather than relying on the boot of their number ten to kick them to victory.  However if they can keep on getting the basics right like they did in the game today then they will definitely build a platform that will hopefully help them to avoid the pain of relegation.  Fingers crossed.