Three Words

Powering in Green

Ireland 20 - 20 Australia

Ireland snatched a draw from the jaws of defeat at Croke Park today and although they didn't win the game they can certainly take away a lot of positives away from their performance. 

BBC commentator Eddie Butler perfectly summed up Ireland's approach in three words: 
"Energised and confident."

Ireland fielded a strong side against the rampaging Wallabies, and after looking dead and buried, a last minute try from BOD himself (who else?) allowed O'Gara to bag two more points and seal a hard fought draw.  (Seriously, who writes O'Driscoll's scripts?  In his 100th test match appearance he scores the decisive try to help level the score.  Praise be to BOD).

Australia should have won this game, but sadly for them they just couldn't manage it.  Hurray!  At least the smug Wallabies won't go home clutching an autumn international home nations whitewash to their puffed up green and gold chests.

The personification of the Irish performance today?

Cian Healy.

Strong running in the loose, confidence in his own abilities on his international debut and an all round gutsy performance from the Leinster prop.  Cian's got work to do to get his scrummaging up to scratch, but other than that it was an excellent first cap performance.


Maurauded in Maroon

England 16 - 9 Argentina

England on the other hand might have beaten Argentina yesterday in their new purple change strip, but after a dismal performance they were quite rightly booed off the pitch at half time.  The Argentina side contained four, yes four amateur players but despite this a dull and uninspiring England could only limp to a 16 - 9 win.

Jeremy Guscott's three word conclusion of England's performance?

"Slow and sloppy."

The personification of this?

Ugo Monye.

Flaky at fullback, shocking under the high ball and slow to allay the fears of the disgruntled Twickenham crowd.


I feel like a broken record. 

Martin Johnson:  PLEASE bring Ben Foden in to play at full back next week as I think we can safely say that the Monye experiment has been deemed a failure. 

If an idiot is defined as someone who repeats their actions yet expects to get a different result, then surely the time has come to show the world that you're not ready to take up residence in a remote village whilst wearing a dunce's hat. 

Then again, I think it will take nothing short of a minor miracle to resurrect England's hopes of beating the All Blacks next Saturday.  What is the game plan?  Do the players know it?  Does anyone care?

Still, even if the game's rubbish I can distract myself by looking at Dan Carter's biceps.  Happy days.

Don't Cry for Me, Argentina

Although I'm crying in despair at some of the selections that Martin Johnson has made for the England squad to face the Pumas this weekend.

There are several changes to the England team this week from the line up that played Australia last Saturday, but none of these changes involve sending Andy Goode trotting back to Brive with a suitcase rammed full of Timotei to be replaced by Northampton's rising star Ben Foden.

This has annoyed me, mainly because England need a proper full back.  Ugo Monye didn't look comfortable last week and he never plays at full back for Harlequins. Ben Foden on the other hand had a storming game for Northampton in the LV= Cup last weekend.  Why can't he come in to replace Andy Goode?  Goode isn't going to shift Wilkinson from the starting fifteen and he doesn't have Wilko's multi-facted game, so why is he even included in the sqaud?  Why Johnno, why?

Goode (left) or Foden (right):  No contest?

Elsewhere, desperate to inject some dynamism into the squad, Martin Johnson has selected James Haskell who starts at number eight instead of Jordan Crane.  Crane was solid but didn't assert himself against Australia, and it will be interesting to see if the hyped-up Haskell can bring his much talked about skill and athleticism to the number eight spot having not played there yet this season for Stade Francais.  Joe Worsley is named as a replacement and pushes Crane out of the squad altogether, which is a bit mean on Jordan but I don't mind it so much due to Worsley's versatility.  And the fact that he is affectionately called 'Melon Head' by his team-mates.

Worsley is back

Dylan Hartley replaces Steve Thompson as the starting hooker.  Excellent.  Thompson was OK against Australia but OK isn't really good enough.  Time to give the grunt, pace and ball carrying skills of Hartley a shot.

Duncan Bell is promoted to the first fifteen instead of injured David Wilson which means there's space for Haskell's old buddy Paul Doran-Jones on the bench.  Who?  Exactly.  After a quick Google search I discovered that he is most famous for getting himself and James Haskell suspended from the very expensive private school they attended for filming a "sex romp" between Paul D-J and his then girlfriend.  How very Paris Hilton.  Hopefully he will have worked out his best angle if he gets a run out on Saturday.

Paul Doran-Jones:  Accrington Stanley meets Paris Hilton

Who is he?  Exactly.

Finally, London Irish's Paul Hodgson gets a start over the lovely Danny Care at scrum-half after having a great start to the season.  Don't worry though Danny, you're still my favourite, and it's not your fault that you couldn't get any quick ball last Saturday.

Therefore, despite Martin Johnson's search for a more dynamic England, Andy Goode stays, Monye is still masquerading as a makeshift full-back, Deacon and Borthwick are both starting and Johnson is persisting with Banahan.

Why oh why oh why?

Come on Johnno, I think you can do better than that:
Foden in; Monye to replace Banahan on the wing; Goode out; Lawes to start in place of Deacon.  Simples.

Instead, here's the team that will start against Argentina on Saturday:
England: Monye; Cueto, Hipkiss, Geraghty, Banahan; Wilkinson, Hodgson; Payne, Hartley, Bell, Deacon, Borthwick (capt), Croft, Moody, Haskell.
Replacements: Thompson, Doran-Jones, Lawes, Worsley, Care, Goode, Erinle.


How England's makeshift pack will fare against the grunt of the massive Argentinians might make painful viewing. Lest we forget that England are currently below Argentina in the World rankings - oh the shame.

Good luck boys.  Hopefully you won't need it.