Wednesday, 14 October 2009

10 Studs to Watch

So the rugby season is now well under way, and if you're one of the few Leeds Carnegie fans like me then it's been yet another depressing start. Still, like the popular mantra on an all day drinking session - it's a marathon not a sprint - and whilst Saracens might be masquerading as speed king Usain Bolt at moment, there's still plenty of games left for my yo-yo loving team to metamorphosize into Paula Radcliffe and limp over the line in 11th place. Who knows, they might even sneak into 10th if they don't keep stopping like Paula to curl out yet another shit performance.

Anyway, with five games down I've had plenty of time to distract myself from Leeds' lacklustre start and survey the finer studs trotting about 22 yard lines up and down the country. Oh and how can I forget the fine specimens in the Magners league? Therefore, for my inaugural post on this blog I think it's only fitting for me to introduce my list of top 10 Studs to Watch this season (although I do reserve the right to amend this list as the season progresses!).

1. Rob Kearney

Well, where do I start with Leinster's gorgeous Rob Kearney? He's got sultry, smouldering looks, bucketloads of Irish charm and one hell of a sexy bod. I've admired Rob's footballing skills for a few years now, but the fact that he is so God damn handsome does help to maintain my interest. If I ever have the pleasure of meeting the lovely Rob I will ply him with Guinness and play with his curly black hair (on his head, before you get any ideas).

2. Brian O'Driscoll

In at number two is another Leinster man, the one and only BOD. In fact I'm kind of considering moving over to Dublin and switching my allegiance to the Irish province, as even if they lose there's always something (or someone) entertaining to watch. Everyone knows about BOD: his twinkly crinkly eyes, his biceps that are to die for and not forgetting his wisdom about not adding tomatoes to fruit salads. BOD has undergone a renaissance over the past year and I can only speculate that this is probably due in part to his engagement to the lovely (and very lucky) Amy Huberman. Although come on Brian - spelling out 'Will you marry me' in flower petals? That's just a little bit cheesy.

3. Danny Care

Q: Who likes Care Bears?

A: Me.

Ex-Leeds Tyke and now Harlequin, Danny 'Care Bear' Care initially set my pulse racing when he was snapped in the buff for the Everyman Campaign earlier this year. I don't think I need to say anything else about Danny's charms as the above picture speaks for itself. Nice ball too.

4. Olly Barkley

Gloucester or Bath? Gloucester or Bath? It was a tough decision for Olly to switch back and forth between these local rivals, but who cares about all that when he's got such lovely eyebrows and sexy curly hair (if you don't mind wiping your hands because of all the hair gel). Olly's currently recovering from a pesky broken leg, so anyone who'd like to help out with nursing duties please form an orderly queue...

5. Marco Wentzel

As a Leeds fan I had to include a Leeds player, and whilst my favourite player (tubby powerhouse Mike Macdonald) is still languishing stateside waiting for his visa, a new addition to the squad has caught my attention this season. Marco Wentzel was enlisted by World Cup winning Supremo Neil Back and his mate Andy Key, and so far has made a big impression with his powering runs and skills in the line out. Oh, and did I mention that he's pretty hot too? (Nice pose by the way Marco).

6. Ben Foden

When he's not busy cultivating his ridiculous Musketeer-style facial hair, Ben Foden is really rather handsome. Tipped as one to watch for purely his rugby skills, Northampton's Ben is also one to watch for more aesthetically pleasing reasons. Currently dating Una Healy from girl band 'The Saturdays' maybe Ben is trying to raise his profile and rise to fame in a similar way as Danny Cipriani?

Which brings me, rather predictably to number 7: the aforementioned Mr. C.

7. Danny Cipriani

Yes, I admit it: Danny Cipriani is foxy, although this admission does grate on me as I find myself really struggling to like him in his new guise as a 'celebrity'. I'm not knocking him for his desire to bump uglies with Kelly Brook as if I was that way inclined then I'd probably want to do the same, but Danny needs to sort out his priorities and concentrate on the game that is his real reason for fame rather than cavorting around Necker Island with his scantily clad bikini model/actress girlfriend. OK, when I put it like that I can see why he's been a little distracted.

8. Mark Cueto

Sale stalwart Mark Cueto knows how to fill a pair of underpants and work a locker. (OK, maybe he needs to practice his modelling skills but who cares when he's got a six-pack and a, ahem, package like that?)

9. Mike Phillips

Ospreys, Wales and the Lions' scrum half Mike Philips is keen to point out that he's number one, but I'm sorry to say Mike that you only sneak in at number nine on my list. I suppose this is quite fitting as that's the number of the shirt that you've so effortlessly made your own in recent years, but either way you are pretty damn fine and in at number nine. (Oh, I just rhymed).

10. Ryan Lamb

Last but by no means least in my top ten Studs to Watch list is a bit of leftfield choice. London Irish's Ryan Lamb usually plays at fly half, but last week he packed down at number eight in an impressive display against Leinster. I can only reason that I have been seduced by Ryan's ferrety looking charms after watching his mercurial performance against my beloved Leeds a few weeks ago. That, and the fact that he seemed to be aiming his kicks towards me in the pre-match warm up. Maybe that classes as flirting where he comes from?

Right, that's all for now. I'll be back with some more rugby related studdery very soon. Who knows, I might even be able to report a first win of the season for Leeds this Sunday...

Until then...

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