I've only got two more night's sleep and a few more hours of pesky work standing between me and the opportunity to meet my favourite rugby hunk du jour, the lovely Dan Carter.
So far I've hatched a few plans, realised I run the risk of degenerating into a desperado and have pulled myself back from the brink of transforming into a female version of Alan Partridge.
I spoke with my Dad last night (as we are going to watch the rugby at Twickenham together) and we have formulated a plan of action for the trip. Well, my Dad knows about the plan up until about point number 7:
- Set off from my house at 8am.
- While away the time on the tedious drive down the M1 by eating sweets, listening to Chris Rea (my Dad's choice) and stopping off at Newport Pagnell services for a quick wee.
- Arrive in the Twickenham area (traffic permitting) by about 12pm.
- Park the car and tuck in to the lovely selection of sandwiches I made before we set off. (Arse. Must remember to do that before we leave).
- Laugh at my Dad as he tries to make a brew on a gas camping stove in gale force winds with a comedy camping kettle.
- Take it all back as the brew tastes lovely.
- Head to the stadium at approximately 12:30pm.
- Get a pie.
- Pester my Dad to go to the players entrance.
- Get annoyed with him when he drags me to the shop to buy an England umbrella instead.
- Sulk for 5 minutes before realising that I am in a SHOP and I have my credit card with me.
- Buy some England branded tat.
- Have a bit of a wander around. Try to drag my Dad to the players entrance. Fail.
- Sulk again.
- Tell my Dad that he's rubbish and I might have to revert to plan B and pass him off as Bill Beaumont if he doesn't co-operate.
- Successfully arrive at the players entrance only to realise it's now 1:15pm and that they've already arrived.
- Decide to go to the bar instead (as my Dad is driving) and drink some wine.
- Drink some more wine.
- Realise it's nearly time for kick off and that I need another wee.
- Queue for what seems like 5 hours for the ladies.
- Take our seats at 2:15pm
- Watch the game.
- Get depressed.
- Leave.
- Drive back listening to 'Big Country' with me suffering from a mild hangover.
The sun always shines at Newport Pagnell
Surprisingly useful
I won't be buying this really.
Please numb the pain of what is to come...
I'm still hopeful.
It's all good fun. I love to watch a real game. a contact game with real men, foot ball is for wussies.. I mean what men score a goal and hug n kiss their team mates, unless the men are gay n dancing to WMCA! Leeds eh? I live in Staffordshire... not far eh?
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