Mystic Warren

Why has the year 2009 seen level headed sportsmen turning to Glenn Hoddle for inspiration? Where did the craze of spending time polishing crystal balls and titting about with tea leaves come from? And why is Wales coach Warren Gatland whipping on his mystical Wizard’s cloak and crapping on about auras?

Yes, ahead of the Wales vs New Zealand clash at the Millenium Stadium this Saturday, Warren Gatland has decided to announce that the All Blacks’ aura has slipped:

"If you lose a few games, it doesn't matter who you are, you become a little bit infallible and that aura just goes away."

I’m sure the New Zealand team are bricking it in light of your comments Warren, and that they’re on the hotline to Mystic Meg as I type.

Nice aura Gats

OK, so Gatland does delight the world with his random views on life on a regular basis, but in the world of sporting smack talk I didn’t think I’d see him taking a leaf out of England cricket captain Andrew Strauss’ book and start harping on about auras. All very spiritual and touchy-feely, and something that will undoubtedly rise from the dead like a reincarnated three-headed dog and bite him on his arse after this weekend.

Pride (or should that by mysticism?) often comes before a fall. Do you remember Andrew Strauss’ comments before the third Ashes Test this summer?:

"I don't think this Australia side has an aura about them… An aura only comes with a consistent level of performance over a long period of time. Australia had that but I don't feel that's where they are now, and that's encouraging. It doesn't mean you're more likely to beat them but it does feel like you are playing against any other Test team."

The England cricket team were lucky, as after Strauss’ new age babble about auras they stumbled and drew the third test at Edgbaston before they were ritually humiliated in the fourth test at Headingley. Happily, team England managed to save Strauss’ blushes by winning the decisive test at The Oval. I wonder what colour his aura was at the start of that test match? Probably brown as he was sh*tting himself.

So is this a case of rainbow coloured-aura Déjà vu as far as Gatland’s Wales is concerned? Is this talk going to motivate his team to a win?

Probably not. Wales are going to be convincingly beaten by New Zealand this weekend and will be made to eat Gatland’s words. Possibly along with an aura or two.

Tuck in boyos.