Heineken Cup Round 1: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly...

The Heineken Cup didn't fail to deliver in the opening round.  So much top quality rugby on display and I've had a brilliant weekend watching it.

But who shone amidst the cream of Europe, and who tried their best to secure their place on the "Brock James Heineken Cup Wall of Shame"?

Wonder no more...

The Good

The try of the weekend came courtesy of some unbelievable skill by Regan King.  Awesome.

Jonny Wilkinson and Paul Sackey linking up to seal a late win for Toulon with this:

Dimitri Yachvili, who kicked four second-half penalties to break Bath's hearts at the Rec.

Dave Walder.  Where would Wasps be this season without their underrated fly-half?  He almost single-handedly won them the game away at Toulouse.  OK, I'm going to overlook his last minute penalty miss as the rest of his game management was that good.

Topsy Ojo.  The London Irish wing is back to full fitness and is on fire, scoring a great interception try in the win over Munster.


The Bad

Goalkicking success (or the lack thereof) at Franklins Gardens.  Bruce Reihana and Shane Geraghty seem to be passing the "let's be inconsistently shit" baton between themselves at the moment.  Come on boys, no-one wants to be called the new Brock James, so pull yourselves together, please.  There are big problems in the goalkicking department for Northampton Saints, but this only falls into the Bad category as they did beat Castres.



Not quite what happened on Friday...

Erik Lund in Biarritz colours.  Not nice to see as a Leeds fan.  As for Iain Balshaw?  Couldn't care less.

London Irish drifting off.  A great win against European rugby supremos Munster, but the Exiles failed to close out the game and let the men from Limerick steal a last-gasp try to seal a losing bonus point.  What do bonus points make?  All the difference, that's what.  Toby Booth's men have made progression from arguably the toughest pool all the more difficult by not slamming the door in Munster's face.


The Ugly

Bath's failure to take a late drop-goal, bang in front of the posts, to regain the lead from Biarritz and win the game.  As it was, Olly Barkley didn't shout loud enough and Michael Claassens ignored him.  A Biarritz win, a home defeat for Bath and progression from the pool looking very tricky for Steve Meehan's men.

Stuart Barnes' nauseating man love for Biarritz number eight, Imanol Harinordoquy.  Listening to Barnes bleat on about his "amazing hands" made me sick in my mouth.  Twice.

Any more to add?

Six Nations Week 4: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good

Brian O'Driscoll winning his 100th cap for Ireland.  A truly world class player, even though he had a pretty quiet game against Wales.

Paul O'Connell's fantastic performance in the line-out and the loose.  A superb game for the ginger giant.

Tomas O'Leary.  A brilliant try-scoring performance by the Ireland scrum half.  Man of the match O'Leary was instrumental in several key plays and set up Keith Earls for his second try.

Tomas O'Leary dives in for his try

The Scottish crowd singing 'Flower of Scotland' loudly and proudly before the Calcutta Cup game against England.  The atmosphere in Murrayfield was electric right from the opening blast of by the lone bagpiper.

Andy Robinson-cam.  Watching the Scotland coach flail his arms around in exasperation whilst yelling expletives provided a few rare moments of entertainment in an otherwise uninspiring game.

Saying that, Scotland number eight and man of the match Johnnie Beattie played a strong game in attack and defence, along with his fellow back row Killer Bs, Kelly Brown and John Barclay.

Ben Foden's impact from the bench.  A breath of fresh air mixed with a steamroller.  Come on Haskell, Deacon and chums: take note of how Foden smashed towering lock Alastair Kellock out of the way when he was running from deep.  Oh and well done Johnno for hauling Armitage off and giving Foden a run.  Ben has got to start against France.  In fact: Ding ding - all change.

France's pocket rocket wing Marc Andreu, who, at 5ft 5", flew under the Italians' radar and over the whitewash.

In fact, France totally demolished Italy in their 46-20 with a classy display.  The French backline was in dazzling and fluid form, and their forwards weren't half bad either.  Scrum-half Morgan Parra, full-back and man of the match Clement Poitreneud and Imanol Harinordoquy get special mentions for their excellent performances.  Again.


The Bad

Jonny Sexon's woeful scattergun approach to goal kicking.  The Ireland fly-half had about as much accuracy as a drunk bloke blasting his pee towards a urinal.

Lee Byrne's yellow card.  Wales conceded two tries when the full-back was warming the sin bin and Byrne was decidedly below par upon his return to the field.

Wales' set piece:  Line-out: Poor.  Scrum:  Poor.

England missing tackle after tackle after tackle after tackle (repeat to fade)...

Just when they thought they were getting a bit better, Nick Mallet's Italy found themselves 40 points behind France after being clinically taken apart.  At least Italy were able to restore a degree of respectibility in the last 20 minutes, when France had already switched off and were no doubt starting to plot England's demise next weekend...

The Ugly

Dan Parks' stupid sideburns.  Who does he think he is?  Zorro?

Fancy Dan

Scrum time between Scotland and England.  Zzzzzz.  Do you enjoy watching burly forwards in tight fitting tops flopping down onto the floor?  Yeah.  And so it seems did referee Marius Jonker.  The scrums were painfully tedious to watch and it often took more than two minutes just to restart the game.  Yawn.

Ugo Monye being stretchered off.  Apparently he's OK, but it's never a nice sight seeing anyone stretchered off the field.  Still, maybe you should have a rest next weekend Ugo, and let Northampton's Chris Ashton have a go?


So there's only one week left in this year's competition.

I can't wait until next weekend's finale: France v England at the Stade de France. 

Although I bet Johnno and pals will try to make it as tedious an affair as possible.  We will see.

Six Nations Week 3: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good

Three from three for France and the Grand Slam is still on for les Bleus.

The French scrum: the best in Europe, no doubt.

Shane Williams' sizzling late try to set up another tantalising finish.  Sadly for Wales, Freddie Michelak kicked the ball into touch at the final restart to deny another buttock clenching finale at the Millennium Stadium.

Another mention for Shane Williams, who passed Gareth Edwards' record of 18 Championship tries for Wales.  And on his 33rd birthday too.  Aw.

Italy's last gasp win over Scotland.  A brilliant try by Pablo Canavosio helped the Azzurri to their 7th win in ten years of the Six Nations.  Something for coach Nick Mallet to write on his calendar then.

Centurion: John Hayes

John Hayes winning his 100th cap for Ireland.  An excellent achievement for any player, but especially so for a front row forward.

Ben Foden, who finally pulled off his tracksuit to replace the injured Delon Armitage.  Foden was a shining star for England with a desire to run the ball forward instead of hoof it aimlessly.

England not kicking the ball away every five seconds.  OK so England didn't win, but they looked pretty evenly matched against Ireland.  Martin Johnson did comment after the match that he thought his team suffered as they tried to run the ball too much.  Oh God, I hope this doesn't mean we can look forward to a return to kicking 101 against Scotland.

The Bad

Wales' string of errors.  Two interception tries?  Check.  Plenty of passes to no-where?  Check.  Failing to see the men in support and not passing the ball for a certain try, Jamie Roberts?  Check.

Yeah I know Shane.  It was really frustrating.

Not so much bad, more not quite there.  Morgan Parra and François Trinh-Duc's partnership at half back is a weak link in the French team.  Parra is a bit selfish and Trinh-Duc retreats into the pocket when put under pressure.

Scotland's failure to score a try against Italy.  And they lost.  Again.  Wooden spoon, Andy Robinson?

Danny Care's sloooooooooow service to Super Jonny and chums. This limited Wilkinson's options and left England's backline looking static.

The atmosphere in Twickenham.  Oh sorry, there wasn't one.

(Not so) Super Jonny's kicking stats.  Only 3/6 for the usually robotic place kicking Wilkinson.  Poor.

The Ugly

Brian O'Driscoll being stretchered off the field.  I hope he'll be fit to pick up his 100th cap in a couple of weeks.

The ridiculous handbags between England and Ireland.  Not really ugly but come on ladies, sort it out.  Still, Danny Care's missus is probably a very satisfied lady looking at Care's excellent throw down skills (as demonstrated on Tomas O'Leary).

Six Nations Week 1: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good...

A 30-17 win for England, despite a strong comeback from Wales in the second half.
England's line out.  Excellent work again from messrs Borthwick and Shaw.
Jonny Wilkinson.  Another 15 points in the bag.  Easy.
James Hook's solo try.  Is he Barry John in disguise?
France's Mathieu Bastareaud, an 18 stone double try-scoring powerhouse.  Ireland beware in Paris next week.
The French front five.  Dominated scrum time, solid in the line out and great in the loose.

The Bad...

Scotland's scrum which looked totally feeble.  Please hurry back Euan Murray.
Wales' goal kicking.  A couple of misses for James Hook which let England off the hook early on.
Ireland's second half performance.  Brian O'Driscoll said it was "mediocre" and "frustrating".  I nearly drifted off to sleep.  Ireland have got to step it up before their trip to Paris next weekend.
Rob Kearney's sloppy clearance, straight into the arms of Kane Robertson, who skipped over the line for an easy try.

The Ugly...

Italy's tediously slow work at the breakdown.  The BBC commentator said Italy's backs could make a cappuccino in the time it took their scrum-half Tebaldi to dig the ball out.  I think it would have been quicker if I had swum across the Irish sea to Croke Park and got the ball for him.  Zzzzzz.
Gonzalo Garcia's attempted spear tackle on Brian O'Driscoll.  Tut, tut.  A well deserved yellow card for that one.
Alun Wyn Jones' stupid trip.  Cue a ten minute sin-binning and England scoring two tries against 14 man Wales.  D'oh.