Wednesday, 24 November 2010
Where Did it All Go So Right for England?
OK, so England lost 26-16 at the hands of Richie McCaw's All Blacks in the opening Autumn fixture, but what a difference a year makes. This time last November I travelled down to Twickenham to watch England crumble at the hands of a lacklustre New Zealand side. Everything seemed to be rotten in the England camp, the team was booed off at half-time against Argentina after arguably the most depressing England performance in years before they scraped to an unimpressive 16-9 win. Even though England won that day, it was probably the lowest point of Johnson's reign. The day that rugby died. Calls were ringing out for heads to roll in the RFU, most notably that of Rob Andrew, England's elite Director of Rugby. The fans were angered by Johnson's staunch refusal to play arguably some of the most dazzling up and coming talents the country had in the form of Courtney Lawes, Chris Ashton and Ben Foden. In short, last year's Autumn Internationals were an unmitigated disaster.
However, new blood was finally introduced and started flowing in the England ranks this summer. In June, the side notched up their first win in Australia since the 2003 World Cup final and fast forward to the present to see England playing instinctively and on the front foot. Ben Youngs, Toby Flood and Chris Ashton were instrumental in putting the Wallabies to the sword again, this time on home turf. These are the same names the country was screaming out for this time last year.
So did Martin Johnson have his strategy right all along or was the former England skipper more than a little bit lucky? It's an interesting question, and I'm sure Johnson will argue his plan was to introduce young players when he did after setting the foundations of a solid England side. Don't forget, those foundations were built around ex-skipper Steve Borthwick, a towering presence in the line-out but hardly cast in the mould of a modern day dynamic second-row, like Brad Thorn, Sam Whitelock, or Courtney Lawes.
People utter the words "seed-change" and talk about a new England as if Martin Johnson has morphed into a grinning Tony Blair circa 1997, peddling his wares about a bright future and salivating over the prospect of getting his ginormous hands on the Webb Ellis trophy yet again.
To win a world cup a team has to be the best in the world for six weeks. Just six weeks. All these November tests and summer tours are mere canapes to the main course which kicks off at Eden Park, Auckland in nine months time. My old history teacher always used to tell me that history is written by the winners. No-one will remember England's successes from this month if they crash and burn in New Zealand next year. And expectations are high: England were World Cup winners in 2003 and losing finalists in Paris four years later. The tournament is being held in New Zealand and anything but the sight of a triumphant All Blacks skipper Richie McCaw clutching the precious gold trophy will spell a disaster for the home crowd. Another epic New Zealand Rugby World Cup choke.
But similar expectation is starting to build once again for England's hopes of being crowned World Champions. Fans are so eager to hope and dream that two, hopefully three wins this November signals the World Cup could be, just maybe, coming back home.
This week, England coach Johnson was keen to play down the resurgence of his team, despite the fact they will start as favourites over the Springboks even though they are one place lower in the world rankings.
"Things happen very quickly, expectations change," he told BBC Sport.
"A couple of weeks ago, on the Friday before we played Australia, everyone was talking about them as the best team in the world - and they had a point. By the Wednesday they'd lost two games and suddenly they were in crisis.
"What this autumn series has highlighted is any of these teams is capable of beating the other one."
I'll give him that. Teams are in a crucial stage of final testing and preparation before next year's ultimate showdown. Ireland stepped up a few gears last weekend against New Zealand and if they hadn't switched off at crucial moments the result could have been oh so different. And then to Murrayfield, where Scotland pulled off the shock of the weekend, edging past South Africa 21-17. Teams are starting to stake their claim for World Cup glory, but all are still facing the daunting task of toppling New Zealand, Tri-Nations champions and ranked number one in the world, from their seemingly insurmountable position at the top.
So has England's resurgence been timed to perfection and can they climb the mountain to the World Cup final next October? Has Martin Johnson had a plan all along or did he bow to public pressure and change the way England play? Under skipper Lewis Moody, England look vibrant, full of dynamism, instinct and passion. Shooting stars like Ashton, Foden, Youngs, Lawes and Dan Cole have all made the step up to international rugby to name but a few. But what if England lose on Saturday? Will we all be back to square one?
I don't think so. England have been in a period of transition for the past two years but signs are they are now leaping out of the pit of despair, let alone clambering up the side. The old guard is stepping aside for the new. Whether it was Johnson's strategy all along or if he lucked out in a major way - or even sold his soul to the Devil - I don't care. I'm starting to believe in England again, one game at a time.
Friday, 14 May 2010
Saints Stars look ahead to Saracens Semi-Final
Here, Saints stars Ben Foden, Stephen Myler and Lee Dickson talk about the game.
Saturday, 20 March 2010
England's Key Battles
However England came close to ruining the party, and would have won the game if they hadn't missed a couple of scoring chances.
But there is still plenty to smile about if you're an England fan.
OK, so England should have scored at least one more try. It's also true that Martin Johnson's men were unable to convert their lion's share of possesion into match-winning points.
But despite the difficult conditions England showed flashes of brilliance which have been sadly missing from their previous performances in the tournament.
Ben Foden scored a sensational try after five minutes, when England quickly worked the ball through several pairs of hands and exposed France's half-arsed defence.
Unfortunately Chris Ashton kicked away a prime try-scoring chance, but other than that he made a solid debut. Mike Tindall came back from nowhere and put in a great performance. In fact, England's backline looked much more threatening as a whole. There were still problems at scrum time, with prop Dan Cole looking a bit shaky and hooker Dylan Hartley was a little inconsistent.
However, as an England fan, I feel much happier about their performance. I just hope Martin Johnson remembers how successful the Ben Foden/Chris Ashton experiment was come the summer tour.
All that aside, during the game I noticed a few key battles which I'd like to draw your attention to:
Martin Johnson 0 v 1 Crazy French Lady
Or Raphael Ibanez's mother-in-law to use her correct title. The England coach really had his work cut out, as Ibanez's rather vocal relative let Johnno know exactly what she felt about his team.
Brian Moore 1 v 0 Referee Bryce Lawrence
Beware rugby officials everywhere. Brian Moore, ex-hooker and now BBC pundit, is ready to hunt you down. The former England front row is now a fully qualified referee - and don't we know it. To give Brian his dues, he was right when he called Bryce's performance "below average". The ref got a couple of blindingly obvious decisions wrong, and Moore duly savaged him like a rabid dog.
Martin Johnson 1 v 0 Bryce Lawrence
During the first half, referee Lawrence got it into his head that England prop Dan Cole was to blame for all of the problems at scrum time. Cole was pinged again and again and again. OK so he was at fault on a couple of occasions, but the Leicester loosehead seemed to cop the flak for pretty much everything. Well ha ha to you ref. Johnno shocked pretty much everyone at the start of the second half when David Wilson and Steve Thompson ran out to replace Cole and hooker Dylan Hartley. But the strategy worked: the scrum steadied and the ref couldn't pin everything on Cole. Excellent tactics.
Heaven 1 - 0 Earth
The heavens above Paris opened and the Stade de France pitch was duly unearthed. Massive clods of grass were popping up everywhere. In fact, it looked like an army of moles had taken residence and the rumbling French scrum had caused them to burrow to the surface to see what all the noise was about. Pas bien. It was also pretty dangerous. I mean, tiny France Wing Marc Andreu could have easily disappeared forever down one of the holes.
Regardless of all of the above, it was a good game. France weren't the best team on the day, but they were the best team in the tournament by far and fully deserved to win the Grand Slam.
Next year England. Next year....
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Pass the Smelling Salts
I think I'm hallucinating.
England coach Martin Johnson has just named his team to face France in this weekend's Six Nations' finale.
The unbelieveable highlights are:
Ben Foden is named at fullback.
Chris Ashton replaces Ugo "I can only run in a straight line" Monye on the left wing.
Super Jonny Wilkinson has been dropped and is replaced by Toby Flood.
Jimmy Haskell, aka Mr Invisible, has been relegated to the bench.
The changes might be too little, too late in the tournament, but at least Johnson is FINALLY opening his eyes and picking the players who are actually performing.
Is this a step towards a more dynamic England team?
Maybe. A big disappointment is that Courtney Lawes has been sent back to Northampton. 58-year old Simon Shaw starts at lock and the ever
I suppose Johnson has to dig his stubborn little heels in somewhere...
Still, I'm off for a little lie down to recover from this shocking news.
England Team
15 Ben Foden (Northampton Saints)
14 Mark Cueto (Sale Sharks)
13 Mike Tindall (Gloucester Rugby)
12 Riki Flutey (CA Brive)
11 Chris Ashton (Northampton Saints)
10 Toby Flood (Leicester Tigers)
9 Danny Care (Harlequins)
1 Tim Payne (London Wasps)
2 Dylan Hartley (Northampton Saints)
3 Dan Cole (Leicester Tigers)
4 Simon Shaw (London Wasps)
5 Steve Borthwick (Saracens, captain)
6 Joe Worsley (London Wasps)
7 Lewis Moody (Leicester Tigers)
8 Nick Easter (Harlequins)
REPLACEMENTS
16 Steve Thompson (CA Brive)
17 David Wilson (Bath Rugby)
18 Louis Deacon (Leicester Tigers)
19 James Haskell (Stade Francais)
20 Ben Youngs (Leicester Tigers)
21 Jonny Wilkinson (RC Toulon)
22 Mathew Tait (Sale Sharks)
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
EXCLUSIVE: Haskell is Wet
This week I can exclusively reveal that Jimmy Haskell is wet.
The ad was filmed at the England team base at the Pennyhill Park Hotel, Bagshot Surrey on a break from training.
It's almost like a case of poker imitating England's play on the pitch: Foden has all the goods whilst Haskell is just bluffing his way through.
And we all know England coach Martin Johnson's approach to taking a gamble, don't we? He's about as adventurous as Jonny Wilkinson venturing past the half way line - i.e. not very.
Come on Johnno, you HAVE to start Ben Foden at the weekend. After all, he is holding all the cards...
In an exclusive out-take, Mr Haskell reveals something we've known for ages: he's a bit wet.
Someone, please! Get him a "lackey" with a brolly! What is the world coming to, eh Jimmy? Geez....
PokerStars is the Official Gaming and Casino Partner of the England Rugby team.
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Reasons to Love Ben Foden
I like how he runs with the ball. I like his attacking flair. I also like how he doesn't hoof away possession à la Ugo Monye and Mark Cueto.
However watching the following clip made me really start to love Ben Foden.
Anyone who can annoy James "The Hask" Haskell is just fine by me.
Ben, it is a travesty that you won't start for England this weekend.
Still, at least you can rest safe in the knowledge that the entire rugby world will be cheering at the sight of you beating the pumped up, white boot wearing Hask.
From now on I am going to call him Jimmy, as I now know how much it annoys him. That dear Ben, is all thanks to you.
Ben, I salute you.
Too Much of a Gamble?
Ben Foden, the in form Northampton full-back is apparently too big a risk for Martin Johnson.
Yes, good old Johnno has flicked the V's at his critics, laughed in the face of the pundits and ignored the calls to revamp his England team ahead of the Six Nations clash with Scotland this weekend.
Despite Foden's inspiring display off the bench against Ireland (which eclipsed dull Delon Armitage's efforts), Foden is not in the starting XV against Scotland.
With England's Grand Slam chance gone, why is Johnno still insisting on playing it so safe?
What about Courtney Lawes, Chris Ashton, Shontayne Hape, Steffon Armitage, Nick Kennedy and champagne swilling Chris Robshaw to name but a few?
Why aren't they being given a chance?
Even Lewis Moody has been relegated to the bench. OK so after his great performances in the autumn Moody hasn't been as effective, but I can't help but wonder if his announcement about leaving Leicester had anything to do with his new role as a bench warmer.
Still, Leicester's Ben Youngs has made it into the 22 which is great news. And fear not, rugby fans, Leicester's dynamo Louis Deacon is still in the starting XV.
Great.
Hang on. What's that I hear you say? Could Johnno be guilty of a Leicester bias?
Never.
The World Cup is approaching fast and Johnno's tediously conservative England are in danger of being so badly undercooked next year when they face Argentina on 10 September it's just not funny.
It really is time that the England coach took a gamble and backed some of England's young stars.
And I mean really back them, not just giving them five minutes at the end of the game
Oh and drop James "The Hask" Haskell. Please.
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Six Nations Week 3: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Three from three for France and the Grand Slam is still on for les Bleus.
The French scrum: the best in Europe, no doubt.
Shane Williams' sizzling late try to set up another tantalising finish. Sadly for Wales, Freddie Michelak kicked the ball into touch at the final restart to deny another buttock clenching finale at the Millennium Stadium.
Another mention for Shane Williams, who passed Gareth Edwards' record of 18 Championship tries for Wales. And on his 33rd birthday too. Aw.
Italy's last gasp win over Scotland. A brilliant try by Pablo Canavosio helped the Azzurri to their 7th win in ten years of the Six Nations. Something for coach Nick Mallet to write on his calendar then.
John Hayes winning his 100th cap for Ireland. An excellent achievement for any player, but especially so for a front row forward.
Ben Foden, who finally pulled off his tracksuit to replace the injured Delon Armitage. Foden was a shining star for England with a desire to run the ball forward instead of hoof it aimlessly.
England not kicking the ball away every five seconds. OK so England didn't win, but they looked pretty evenly matched against Ireland. Martin Johnson did comment after the match that he thought his team suffered as they tried to run the ball too much. Oh God, I hope this doesn't mean we can look forward to a return to kicking 101 against Scotland.
The Bad
Wales' string of errors. Two interception tries? Check. Plenty of passes to no-where? Check. Failing to see the men in support and not passing the ball for a certain try, Jamie Roberts? Check.
Not so much bad, more not quite there. Morgan Parra and François Trinh-Duc's partnership at half back is a weak link in the French team. Parra is a bit selfish and Trinh-Duc retreats into the pocket when put under pressure.
Scotland's failure to score a try against Italy. And they lost. Again. Wooden spoon, Andy Robinson?
Danny Care's sloooooooooow service to Super Jonny and chums. This limited Wilkinson's options and left England's backline looking static.
The atmosphere in Twickenham. Oh sorry, there wasn't one.
(Not so) Super Jonny's kicking stats. Only 3/6 for the usually robotic place kicking Wilkinson. Poor.
The Ugly
Brian O'Driscoll being stretchered off the field. I hope he'll be fit to pick up his 100th cap in a couple of weeks.
The ridiculous handbags between England and Ireland. Not really ugly but come on ladies, sort it out. Still, Danny Care's missus is probably a very satisfied lady looking at Care's excellent throw down skills (as demonstrated on Tomas O'Leary).
Monday, 9 November 2009
So What has Martin Johnson Learnt After the England vs Australia game?
- The presence of Andy Goode in the England squad is utterly pointless. (Click here to see my musings about this lank haired bench-warmer who is neither use nor ornament). Well, as far as I am concerned anyway.
- Ugo Monye is a rubbish full back, especially as he kept forgetting himself and started popping up on the wing. If Johnno bins off Goode then he can replace Monye with Mr. Musketeer beard himself: Ben Foden - a much safer pair of hands at number fifteen.
- The new all-white kit looks lovely, and is much better than the previous effort which featured a splatter of ketchup down the front. Whether the same can be said for the new purple kit which has its debut this weekend is yet to be seen.
- Steve Thompson has learnt how to throw in at the line-out. A minor miracle, and a big relief for Johnno's England who seem light in this area.
- Wilkinson is back on top form, but even the magic of this world class ten can't do everything. Shane Geraghty needs to learn to mix it up a bit.
- Getting all new-age and trying to psyche out teams a la Andrew Strauss really doesn't work as Mystic Warren Gatland discovered to his peril. The media had a field day, and so it turned out did the All Blacks.
- Australia has a side filled with toddlers and they still beat England convincingly. They are firm believers that if you're good enough then you're old enough, and with this in mind Lawes and Foden should start against Argentina.
I was trying to think of ten things but I kind of ran out, so I'll leave it at that.
Saturday, 7 November 2009
What is the Point of Andy Goode?
Be honest, do you think for a second that Mr Goode is going to displace prodigal son Wilkinson or the investment in youth that is Shane Geraghty? No, and the reason for this is because Andy Goode is rubbish.
OK, so he can kick goals. Well done, but as an international number ten you need more than that. What about tactical kicking? Are you any good at that Andy? Er, no. Alright then, what about adding a dynamic element to the midfield? Maybe not. Fine, so I guess you must be in the mould of Dan Carter and score a hatful of tries? Still a no?
Right then, so other than your minging blonde locks, what do you have to offer to a new look England, because I can't think of anything?
Oh yeah, that's right: you're really good at keeping the bench warm.
I think it's time for you to budge up and let Ben Foden take a seat, so toddle off and go and wash your lovely hair.
Sunday, 18 October 2009
A Round of Missed Opportunites

Away from France, London Irish will be left to rue a missed chance thanks to a last gasp penalty for the Scarlets courtesy of Sesame Street's Count (aka Stephen Jones). This game finished up 25-27 with London Irish undoing all their good work with an away win away at Champions Leinster last round. Oh well, serves you right for beating my favourite Irish team.
The final team who really missed a chance to press home their advantage in the competition was Clermont Auvergne who lost 25-24 at the Ospreys. I really wish I'd watched this game, as despite leading 22-3 at half time, the Ospreys almost threw it away to a resurgent Clermont side. Unfortunately for all the Welsh ladies out there, Mike Phillips hobbled off with a foot injury just before half time, which means that the much less attractive Dwayne Peel might get a shout for the international games next month. Never mind, I'm sure he has some fans out there - probably the same ones that fancy his twin brother: Emmerdale's Andy Sugden.As the scoring opportunities went begging in the first half I did wonder if Leeds were lacking the killer instinct and would be able to punish the Italian side who looked like they'd spent far too much time woofing pizza then doing bench-presses at the gym. Happily, for every mistake Leeds made Parma made two, which allowed a much changed Leeds side to press home for victory and rack up the points in the second half. Leeds ended the game with an impressive scoreline of 37-13 but they are certainly going to have to raise their performance and banish the sloppy guiseppe style mistakes before next Sunday when they take a trip down the M1 to top of the table Saracens. If they don't tighten up I can't see anything happening apart from a ritual humiliation in front of the Vicarage Road faithful.
Perpignan 29-13 Northampton
Sale 27-26 Cardiff Blues
Biarritz 42-15 Gloucester
Brive 13-36 Leinster
Edinburgh 17-13 Ulster
Harlequins 19-23 Toulouse
London Irish 25-27 Scarlets
Munster 41-10 Treviso
Viadana 11-46 Leicester
Bath 27-29 Stade Francais
Ospreys 25-24 Clermont Auvergne
Anyway, that's all for now. A review of the eagerly anticipated Lions 2009: Living with the Pride DVD is coming soon...
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
10 Studs to Watch

Well, where do I start with Leinster's gorgeous Rob Kearney? He's got sultry, smouldering looks, bucketloads of Irish charm and one hell of a sexy bod. I've admired Rob's footballing skills for a few years now, but the fact that he is so God damn handsome does help to maintain my interest. If I ever have the pleasure of meeting the lovely Rob I will ply him with Guinness and play with his curly black hair (on his head, before you get any ideas).
2. Brian O'Driscoll

In at number two is another Leinster man, the one and only BOD. In fact I'm kind of considering moving over to Dublin and switching my allegiance to the Irish province, as even if they lose there's always something (or someone) entertaining to watch. Everyone knows about BOD: his twinkly crinkly eyes, his biceps that are to die for and not forgetting his wisdom about not adding tomatoes to fruit salads. BOD has undergone a renaissance over the past year and I can only speculate that this is probably due in part to his engagement to the lovely (and very lucky) Amy Huberman. Although come on Brian - spelling out 'Will you marry me' in flower petals? That's just a little bit cheesy.
3. Danny Care

Q: Who likes Care Bears?
Ex-Leeds Tyke and now Harlequin, Danny 'Care Bear' Care initially set my pulse racing when he was snapped in the buff for the Everyman Campaign earlier this year. I don't think I need to say anything else about Danny's charms as the above picture speaks for itself. Nice ball too.
Gloucester or Bath? Gloucester or Bath? It was a tough decision for Olly to switch back and forth between these local rivals, but who cares about all that when he's got such lovely eyebrows and sexy curly hair (if you don't mind wiping your hands because of all the hair gel). Olly's currently recovering from a pesky broken leg, so anyone who'd like to help out with nursing duties please form an orderly queue...5. Marco Wentzel
As a Leeds fan I had to include a Leeds player, and whilst my favourite player (tubby powerhouse Mike Macdonald) is still languishing stateside waiting for his visa, a new addition to the squad has caught my attention this season. Marco Wentzel was enlisted by World Cup winning Supremo Neil Back and his mate Andy Key, and so far has made a big impression with his powering runs and skills in the line out. Oh, and did I mention that he's pretty hot too? (Nice pose by the way Marco). 6. Ben Foden
When he's not busy cultivating his ridiculous Musketeer-style facial hair, Ben Foden is really rather handsome. Tipped as one to watch for purely his rugby skills, Northampton's Ben is also one to watch for more aesthetically pleasing reasons. Currently dating Una Healy from girl band 'The Saturdays' maybe Ben is trying to raise his profile and rise to fame in a similar way as Danny Cipriani?Which brings me, rather predictably to number 7: the aforementioned Mr. C.
7. Danny Cipriani
Yes, I admit it: Danny Cipriani is foxy, although this admission does grate on me as I find myself really struggling to like him in his new guise as a 'celebrity'. I'm not knocking him for his desire to bump uglies with Kelly Brook as if I was that way inclined then I'd probably want to do the same, but Danny needs to sort out his priorities and concentrate on the game that is his real reason for fame rather than cavorting around Necker Island with his scantily clad bikini model/actress girlfriend. OK, when I put it like that I can see why he's been a little distracted.
8. Mark Cueto
9. Mike Phillips

Ospreys, Wales and the Lions' scrum half Mike Philips is keen to point out that he's number one, but I'm sorry to say Mike that you only sneak in at number nine on my list. I suppose this is quite fitting as that's the number of the shirt that you've so effortlessly made your own in recent years, but either way you are pretty damn fine and in at number nine. (Oh, I just rhymed).
10. Ryan Lamb

Last but by no means least in my top ten Studs to Watch list is a bit of leftfield choice. London Irish's Ryan Lamb usually plays at fly half, but last week he packed down at number eight in an impressive display against Leinster. I can only reason that I have been seduced by Ryan's ferrety looking charms after watching his mercurial performance against my beloved Leeds a few weeks ago. That, and the fact that he seemed to be aiming his kicks towards me in the pre-match warm up. Maybe that classes as flirting where he comes from?
Right, that's all for now. I'll be back with some more rugby related studdery very soon. Who knows, I might even be able to report a first win of the season for Leeds this Sunday...
Until then...











