Firstly, David Attoub's 70 week ban for trying to poke out Stephen Ferris' eyes has been upheld.
Where was the appeal hearing?
You've guessed it: London.
Quelle horreur. It MUST be a case of everyone in England hating the French.
No. Rules are rules. Get over it.
Secondly, James "Le Hask" Haskell is starring as the rope in what is possibly the most pointless club v country tug of war ever.
Johnno wants to keep him in the England set up this weekend. Stade Francais want him to slip on a fetching pink rugby shirt and his ridiculous white boots and trot out against Toulouse on Saturday.
I don't know what all the fuss is about. Haskell did an excellent impression of Mr. Invisible against Ireland so why do either parties want him so badly?
It would be more understandable if Stade kept sending him back to England to make sure he features in the France v England game. Now that would be a cunning French plot to undermine England, by making us have one of our SHIT players back.
Either way, I bet there'll be a lot of furious smoking of Gitanes cigarettes on the other side of the channel.
But seriously Stade Francais, if you want to snatch Le Hask back under the cover of darkness, then please be my guest.