Blood Bath?

I have to admit I’ve had trouble sleeping this week. Hours and hours every night tossing and turning and waking up in a cold sweat. I just can’t shake a horrible image from my mind. An image so upsetting I’m surprised animal welfare organizations haven’t been protesting outside of the Rec.


What am I talking about?

This:

No, not Danny Grewcock.

Just how many poor, innocent skunks were brutally murdered in order to be plastered across Bath’s European shirt?

Please end this animal cruelty now.

Thank you.

Whatever Stade Français can do....

....Edinburgh can do much, much worse.

Today Edinburgh Rugby revealed their migraine-inducing kit for the two derby games they are scheduled to play against Glasgow Warriors on the 27th December and the 2nd January. 

Check out this eye-popping vision of neon colours and stomach-churning swirls:

Try as you might, wearing shades whilst you're sporting this delightful little number
doesn't mean you're going incognito

 

I have to wonder what the inspiration was for this assault on the eyes?

Maybe the designer stumbled across his vision for this putrid monstrosity after necking various Chernobyl coloured shots down the pub and then proceeding to splatter the contents of his stomach across the pavement.

"Ahh, that's it!  Perfect!" he said on inspecting his chunder-chunks, before stumbling up the street and recreating his handiwork back in his studio.

At the launch Edinburgh's Nick De Luca said of the kit:

"I think it's great that we have put a strip out there that will get us noticed... It's a memorable jersey for what promises to be memorable games."

Memorable because the poor spectators will have the image of this God awful shirt seared into their brains for the rest of eternity?  Or is this just a ploy by Edinburgh to bring colour to a couple of games that might otherwise be quite grey affairs? 

Who knows.  I can't see it being the top of anyone's Christmas list though.

So What has Martin Johnson Learnt After the England vs Australia game?

1. The presence of Andy Goode in the England squad is utterly pointless.  (Click here to see my musings about this lank haired bench-warmer who is neither use nor ornament).  Well, as far as I am concerned anyway.
   
   
2. Ugo Monye is a rubbish full back, especially as he kept forgetting himself and started popping up on the wing.  If Johnno bins off Goode then he can replace Monye with Mr. Musketeer beard himself: Ben Foden - a much safer pair of hands at number fifteen.
   
   
3. The new all-white kit looks lovely, and is much better than the previous effort which featured a splatter of ketchup down the front.  Whether the same can be said for the new purple kit which has its debut this weekend is yet to be seen.
   
   

If only they'd gone for mayonnaise....
4. Steve Thompson has learnt how to throw in at the line-out.  A minor miracle, and a big relief for Johnno's England who seem light in this area.
   
   
5. Wilkinson is back on top form, but even the magic of this world class ten can't do everything.  Shane Geraghty needs to learn to mix it up a bit.
   
   
6. Getting all new-age and trying to psyche out teams a la Andrew Strauss really doesn't work as Mystic Warren Gatland discovered to his peril.  The media had a field day, and so it turned out did the All Blacks.
   
   
7. Australia has a side filled with toddlers and they still beat England convincingly.  They are firm believers that if you're good enough then you're old enough, and with this in mind Lawes and Foden should start against Argentina.

I was trying to think of ten things but I kind of ran out, so I'll leave it at that.